A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend that I've gotten VERY close with but we have not yet reached the point of being boyfriend-girlfriend. It's a long distance relationship (about 100 miles). We were supposed to meet over lunch recently when she left me a voice mail saying she had an accident and after going to the hospital she was now home and in pain. She asked me not to call or text or anything for a few days. I was disappointed we didn't meet but I understood. A few days later I called and she was upbeat and feeling better though still recovering. I promised to call her the next day to see how she was. I called, she didn't answer so I left a voice mail. I emailed to say I hope you're better. I texted her a joke. No response whatsoever. I know she's been working non-stop recently so I just assumed she was working, though in the past she has always been in contact with me. At the end of the week we were supposed to both go to the same business party. I didn't know if she was still going but I saw her there and she started talking to me as if nothing had happened. I don't want to imply that I've gotten clingy but maybe that's it. I was concerned for her after her accident and saddened that I only heard from her once. Was it wrong of me to be upset with her?
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female
reader, Klara  + ♥, writes (28 March 2009):
I agree. But i would say this. Girls can get really moody and be a bit rude at times. I know i can, toward considerate people..its bad..but it's annoying to have to be nice all the time, and worse to have to be mean just so you can live without anyone else taking your space when you have things going down... I would say this(and it's me speaking from my honest situation), she definitely wants space. At times she can be happy clappy about meeting you but only if it's not so often..as it's like a nice change, saying hi having a random good chat and walking away.. leaving it at that until next time. If she feels like you care more than she wants you to..when she doenst really care so much for you more than socially meeting for lunches etc, she can get back off a bit. (this is because she feels bad that you do and she doesnt want to/can't return the effort, and yet doens't want to have to voice it at sounding mean)I think she didn't pick the phone as she didn't feel like talking to you at that time..that day perhaps. If you called the second time..that's kind of a tad annoying and then texting..(assuming she is wanting space) she then thought to not contact you so you might catch on..but then if you see her it's good good, because it is good good..she just doesn't want you caring more than you are.. :)hope that makes sense.. this is how i act sometimes..so cruel but the world is difficult..when you are nice you have lots of people caring ..and it sometimes gets a bit much when you have too many things on your mind.. don't hate me.. or her ...
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (28 March 2009):
 Hello there, yes it seems that she is not that keen on staying in touch everyday. Give her more space and if it is meant to be she will try harder next time if she is interested.
I think it is important for men to show interest and be more proactive than the woman after all this is the famous chasing game. But in your case it does sound like she is ignoring you rather than letting you chase her.
If things are not that serious - then I would suggest not to dwell on this and keep on socialising with other women. Good luck x
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