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Have I got it wrong about this man?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2017)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

It started on a Friday night. My boyfriend said he wished he never met me and that I was a slut and a bunch of other ugly stuff. He said I wasn't texting or calling him like I was, All because I was sick for 2 weeks with bronkitis and a ear infection. My dad also got sick during these 2 weeks, they amputated a big portion of his foot and I decided it was best to preplan his funeral arrangements. (My dads diabetic and not doing so well) My boyfriend Caused a scene at his work that Friday night and I sat there quietly because I refused to argue with him. I drove off and just let him act like a little crazy man. He called and we were arguing on the phone. I was so mad I came out of my character. I finally hung up because I couldn't take it no more. The next day I called him in the morning to see if he wanted to talk. He began to act like a jerk so I hung up. Within 3/4 hours he said he was sorry but I was so pissed I told him I needed time to myself because I came out of my character and I didn't like that. So he said ok. The same day but later in the night he's blowing me up to pick him in the morning to celebrate his birthday. I refused. I ignored him that Sunday. I texted him on Monday to wish him a happy birthday I stood strong on my decision to not get back together and well 10 long text messsages later. He managed to turn it around and blame me for a big portion of the problems we had. My question is, was I too hard on refusing to take him back? I just felt like if he called me all those names that must be what he thinks of me, and if that's what he thinks of me why would he be with me?

PS we're in our 40's

View related questions: get back together, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017):

You were correct to leave him. I really thought reading your letter that he was 14 years old not 40. He has what I call the red flag of abuse. When someone calls you a slut it should be over. Did he bring you soup and take care of you when you were sick? No all he thinks about is me me me. He also tried to turn it around on you which is gaslighting......A form of abuse. You did the right thing by breaking up with him for if you stayed the abuse would have gotten much worse for sure. There is a reason he was single...I just hope his next woman is as strong as you were. Now you ditched the little boy you can find a real man who treats you like he loves you not a piece of property like the way that jerk did. You did the right thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017):

I didnt notice your age until you pointed it out in the end. Despite mentioning pre-planning a funeral which is a very adult thing to have to do, I had guessed about 20 years old at a push.

This sounds like a ridiculous and immature man. Stay away from him. You did the right thing in my opinion.

We've had a lot of fights but my partner has never called me anything worse than a moody cow - and even then he felt awful.

Verbal abuse is still abuse. Move on and fins better.

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