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Have I been friend zoned?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

What could it mean when a guy treats you differently than he does other girls or his other friends? Like he may hug/flirt with other girls but he doesn't ever do that to you. Like, this is my situation, but what is confusing is like, we are in the same clique right? I have noticed that whenever I arrive, he is like pretty much the FIRST person to notice me or the first to say hello and he looks "pleased" I suppose or he will find an excuse to approach me when I am in sight often. Usually when I'm alone, but when friends are around too

Yesterday, and I'm guessing it's because he has that kind of energy about him because he's very energetic but I came up and he was the first one to notice me and he like rushed up and put his finger under my chin like " :3(insert my name)!" And I'm just like .....o.o....um....

And he'll randomly include me in his jokes. He's very sarcastic, I remember he was talking to a friend of ours( I wasn't in the conversation really, I was kind of just standing there) and he told her that he was gonna bite her because she wouldn't quit doing this thing(I forgot) and she was like "why would u do that to meh :c" and he was like :3 hmm good point, you don't look very edible, if me and (insert my name here) were stranded at sea and reduced to cannabalism....we'd probably throw you overboard...:p"

All the while I'm like...and why do I have to be stranded on a ship with you? XD I just find it really weird that I was included but maybe it was because I was there?

And he's always playfighting with me and teasing me, driving me nuts cuz the guy is chalk full of friggin nuts, lol. But he never ever hugs me, but he will hug other girls and flirt with other girls like he may playfully grab one of the girls in our clique and be like " :3 I love you! I love you so much :) ahahaha :D I'm holding you lovingly!" ....yes exactly like that, or he'll hug our best friend, but never me.

So there's a lot of immediate notice of me(approaching me without the clique), teasing/play fighting, mocking, but not embrace though he will get,like, close.

We are actually much closer on the phone I suppose. It's a lot different when we text. I text him a lot most of the time, like, I'm the one texting because he actually really doesn't like phones, texting, because it confuses him he says and he will often forget to text back or he'll be doing something that doesn't involve using his phone. But we do text each other and we used to get into quarrels on the phone(like teasing each other) but that has dimmed down gradually because we've been getting to know each other and we surprisingly have tons in common and he invited me to do a science experiment with him next month if I wanted.he says he wanted to make small bombs in an attempt to 'steal' the declaration of independence...I asked him if anyone else was helping and he said no

I remember I was being very honest with him because I actually really do like him and I said "I am genuinely glad that I met you though it is unsettling to know that you do not find me as interesting. You find me to be common, annoying, do you not?" And he was like "Not at all, you're a rather curious specimen" (yes, he actually said that but its becuz he's super obsessed with science. And so I said "as are you,"

Ah, geek love :/ XDD

I actually told him not too long ago, could him not hugging me mean that I've been friend zoned or something? Since he knows how I feel already? Or something else?

View related questions: best friend, flirt, I love you, notice me, teasing, text

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A female reader, advicer96 United Kingdom +, writes (2 October 2012):

It sounds like you flirt alot so why dont you ask him in a flirty voice when he next hugs your friends 'Wheres my hug then?' you never know he may like you and is just to shy to flirt and hug you. I dont think you can ever be in the friend zone.I have been best friends with this guy for ages and yet we can still like each other. I guess if you want it to go that way youll have to do something to change the tone of your text and convos so they are really flirty. Also if youre in the same frendship group it will be easier to find out if he like you back. If you think there will be no going back after going out of the friend zone. WRONG. If you both make the effort you can, and it wil become like normal.

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (30 September 2012):

Atsweet1 agony auntI don't feel you have been friend zoned exactly. If you haved expressed your interest but not to the point that you may want to date or more. He may not see that as far as other girls. They may just be Flirty so he doesn't have to hug them they hug him he just goes along with it.Friend zone type things include married ring wearing people. married without ring seriously dating in committed relationship.People you don't want to be with or committ to. He may just not get it. That you like him in a relationship type way.

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