A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK I have had this big crush on this guy for about 8 yrs now. Now dont get me wrong - I have not and do not obssess about him or anything like that. I have had relationships in between etc. But as he got older I just grew more and more attracted to him. The thing is he pays me like little attention (I mean we are polite to each other etc) and I am pretty much sure he has zero interest in me in that way and perhaps even the fact that he is that way could make me be even more attracted to him. Who knows!Now this guy is someone I do and will always see from time to time (because of where we live etc) so I can not avoid him completely. I could not see him for a few months and forget about him, only to see him one day and everything to come flooding back! Anyway it sort of really kinda hurts in a way and dont know how to get over him all together. Most crushes dont last this long and I have been bumping into him more lately and it just grows even more! I dont know how to deal with this because I do find it a bit upsetting. A major case of unrequited love or crush or whatever. And again I am not obssessing about him - and I have dated guys in the mean time....it is just like the guy you fancied and had the biggest crush on for like forever btu could never have. Only he never went away - he is still there and I still see him and cant avoid it....so not sure how to deal with it as when I do see him it drags up old feelings from since I was a teenager and it gets me down. and the feelings seem to get stronger each time I see him and I fancy him even more as he is of course growing up now more and turning more into a man and more attractive than the teenager we used to be! LIke I saw him briefly tonight and here I am now feeling rather down by my unrequited love. And I know for a fact there is no chance of anything happening between us.Of course time heals these things and we move on - btu it has been 8 yrs now and instead of going away its only getting stronger! please help! Tips much appreciated! thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): I had the same problem when I was younger until I started picturing a big huge door in my mind......every time I started thinking or fantasizing about him, I would slam the door in my mind and block out the thoughts........it worked faster than I could have hoped for and I stopped thinking about and fantasizing with him.
The trick is to not allow your mind to focus on him, you have control of your mind. When you start to think of him, do what you must to think of other things. Make a list of stuff you can think about ahead of time, or try the door slamming trick. Good luck, let us know if you have any success :-)
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