A
male
age
36-40,
*lias me
writes:I am really hating my workplace at the moment I feel that its really poisoness.Everyone seems to be cheating on everyone else and I am the only who seems to think its disgusting. One girl at work was giving me all this relationship advice with my girl friend going on about her lasting relationship with her partner of 12 years and how you got to work at it, then I found out that she's slept with 3 other guys at the office in the last 2 year and her excuse for cheating is that he's nasty to her. The main thing which that has really got to me is this one girl who I have had liked for ages had an affair. Shes 9 years older and has 2 kids but I thought she was lovely and maybe if she was single she might like me. But then I found out that she had sex with someone else at work who is married and has 2 little kids himself. They are both in their respective relationships but they are carrying on , they shamelessly flirt with each other in front of everyone and every one else is like "awh its so sweet" and " they will make a lovely couple" every one talks about the situation like its fun and sexy and they judge me for thinking that its wrong. I think people who can do something that could devastate their wife and children dont deserve to be married and have kids, but apparently I am just prudish... I just wonder how can people do that and not feel guilty?? Am I wrong in thinking they are bad people??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 no, you're not wrong at all. in fact, i know EXACTLY where you're coming from. my ex gf used to work at this place (i swear, if we weren't from two completely different countries, i would be convinced it was the same place) where literally everyone was cheating on their husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. and they would sit around and share stories at work, and she used to come home and tell me all the stories they'd tell, and she would actually LAUGH about it, like it was funny.I was appalled. i asked her why the hell she found it funny, as it alarmed me in a big way. it not only made me disgusted at them, but also made me question her integrity, seeing as how she didn't find it repulsive. well as it turns out, she was also cheating on me for years. like-minded people tend to stick with like-minded people. Anyway, the whole point being that i understand where you're coming from. cheating is a dispicable, awful act. it's so betraying and deceitful, and it's hurtful in so, so many ways. it's the ultimate way of crushing another person and tearing families apart. So no, you're not wrong. it's just unfortunate that there seems to be more people who lack integrity than there are those who have it these days. it's a scary world. but don't second guess your morals. you're completely justified in your feelings. as i share the same, myself.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (30 January 2013):
 Hi
Its either 'if you can't beat them,join them' or let it go over your head,it's their lives and them that will end up hurting others.
You liked one of the women but you were put off as she had a fling with a married guy, well she was/is married but you were still interested.These people are just brightening up their dull lives in a dangerous way.
Be thankful your free to date without ruining somebodys life and let them get on with it.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (30 January 2013):
 I worked at a place where lots of people were having affairs. However, I just ignored it and got on with my job. To be honest I was only there on a temporary contract (6 months) and when they offered me a job I found one elsewhere.
It got to me a bit but I never gave my opinions on the matter. I believe it's wrong and don't like to see it. At the same time, if people want to muck about and ruin their own families that's up to them. I won't get involved at all.
They don't feel guilty until they get caught. Then they are only guilty that they got caught.
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A
female
reader, sarahbell  +, writes (30 January 2013):
yeah sounds pretty messed up to me! I would just ignore them and their advice and let them get on with it. If that's not for you that's fine it doesn't mean you have to do the same.
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