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Has this man gone cold on me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2017)
A age 36-40, * writes:

Hi,

I've been dating this guy for about 3 months now. He asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date.

We get on really well and can actually have great conversations on our dates and through texts (he only likes to text as feels anxious calling).

Things were going really well until lately where he has cancelled dates a few days in advance as other things have happened: one he was ill and the other a work night out came up which was pretty paid for by their boss. I messaged a few days later asking if he wanted to meet some other day which so far has been ignored.

I don't know where I stand; is he too much of a coward to break up with me or is something else going on? And how do I approach him about it without sounding aggressive?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (7 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNo need to be aggressive, just give him a call and ask him what is going on. He may not like calls for several reasons, maybe he is trying to keep you a secret? Maybe he has someone else? You need to try and sort this out with him. It is possible he has lost interest and he is being a coward.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017):

Unless he has a VERY good reason for ignoring you, I would consider this guy to be dead in the water when and if he does get in contact. He is disrespecting you very much and I most certainly would not ask him twice if he wants to see you. You have already asked once and got no reply. Don't do it again is my advice. As NoraB said, retain your dignity and don't chase him anymore.

I would consider the fact that he has ignored you, to be my answer. Sorry

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2017):

I agree with Nora B with one addition to what she said. If he does contact you and it's not within a reasonable amount of time since you last texted him, which you have already said he has ignored, I wouldn't give him the time of day. Block him. He's a coward. Nobody deserves to be ignored nor should you let yourself in for what will likely be an ongoing emotional roller coaster ride.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think I would ask him straight up if he is no longer interested because THAT is how it feels to you.

If he DOESN'T answer then take that as a YES it's over, BLOCK him and move on.

You have EVERY right to know where you stand. It's been 3 months and you are supposedly exclusive.

This is no way to carry on a relationship and you both know it. So BE the one who HAS the guts to put it out there.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (5 February 2017):

This is a very hurtful situation for you, and i do understand how you are feeling.However for your sake it would NOT be wise to approach him at all,because as you stated when you suggested meeting up..he ignored you So do not put your self in a hurtful situation.Right now it would be good to get on with life and maybe finding some new interest.If he wants to contact you he will,if not you must consider that he had a change of mind about you and let it go.Remember the contact must come from him first..that way you can hold your head -up and hurtful as it maybe learn from the experience.Kind wishes NORA B.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (5 February 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThere is no need to be aggressive. I would phone him rather than texting, as texts can easily be misinterpreted. He may leave the call to go to voicemail, in which case just leave a message saying you hope he is ok and asking him to let you know if he wants to go out sometime. If you hear nothing back, then I would assume you have been dumped and he is just too much of a coward to tell you.

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