A
female
age
16-17,
Aly Jane
writes:In today's society, all you see and hear about is how everyone is doing "it." There are many questions, from girls my age and younger, askinng how to have sex, when to tell if they're ready for sex, what to do if they're pregnant... and the list goes on. This is drastically different from the messages that our parents and grandparents received. Sex was meant to be special, a union between you and someone you love. The Church teaches that premarital sex is wrong and that sex is like a wedding gift. It is supposed to be procreational, and birth control is not supposed to be used. With these conflicting messages, what are we supposed to believe and teach the next generation?Personally, I lean to the Church's teachings because I was raised by Catholics. However, I understand that this is extremely hard to follow when modern times are different. It's best to find a happy medium and have sex with someone special, not in the heat of the moment. Sorry that this is long but I felt that this issue is not addressed enough. (Not at my school or city, anyway.)
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You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (4 April 2008):
 I started writing, then had a conference call, so now I have to rewrite, but not as long as the first attempt.
To sum up what I was tried to day. You are your own person. All though there is temptations, you've been given free will if you choose to take or turn away from.
Also watch when it comes to your beliefs. What comes from God is it, doesn't mean what people develop is from God. Some churches come up with more and more laws to control the activities within their Church.
Religion is personal. Keep to what your beliefs, and don't compromize because of societies views.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Saying things can't be changed or stopped is not true. That is just a cop-out. When society says that these things are OK, which is usually brought on by a break-down in families or because of the influence of big business (porn & fashion influence encourages girls to over-sexualise too early etc). People who have sex, mainly women and girls, spend emotional currency. Men may not, but out of respect for their partners, daughters and all women they should treat women as equals. Not one rule for a prostitute and another for their wife or daughter. There will always be people who have sex to early and it won't ever be completely stopped. Those who are unfortunate enough to get in difficult situations should be supported. Neither will drunkenness be stopped, but it is more rife than every before among teenagers. The reason is that it has been promoted. You just can't say these things can't be stopped, it is up to everyone to make society a reasonable place to live and not just absolve themselves of any influence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): God has never changed his commands about sex and quite frankly there is no such thing as 'leaning towards' God's commandments. He did not say "only have sex with someone special'. He said only in a marriage. You have made up your own rules (not God's rules). We live in an unchristian society where everyone does what is right in his own eyes, as do you. This is far different than doing what is right in God's eyes. I too do not always do what is right in God's eyes, but I don't try to justify myself because I sort of almost do what God has commanded, or redefine sin to match my own needs.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa  +, writes (28 March 2008):
 I think Southernbelle is missing the point slightly:
I was 13 once, I had lots of male friends and was even in love, but being thought morals by a Catholic parent encouraged me not to make mistakes. It's not all down to religion, as I know of Catholic families where young girls had the first of many babies at 14, but rather the fact that parents are often seen as the enemy by teen-agers.
The girls I've met who had sex so young, didn't know what the hell they were doing, they just think it's expected of them, but they don't have enough experience of life to make an informed choice.
Good parenting and a more moral society to live in would stop children from having sex young.
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A
female
reader, SouthernBelle +, writes (28 March 2008):
 I think that no matter how someone is raised, no matter what generation sex is always going to happen before marriage, pregnancy is going to happen before marriage and there really isn't anything anybody can do about it. Despite the fact that we hear diffrent messages from our parents and grandparents sex before marriage was still a big thing in their time also it just wasn't as pronounced as it is today. Girls younger and younger these days are experimenting with sex, ending up pregnant out of wedlock but its a personal choice and just because we believe one thing doesn't mean it right to look down on somebody elses beliefs or personal choice. If a teenage girl has sex at thirteen its her personal choice and she has the right to make that personal choice, its her life. Does that make it acceptable or right? Well it all depends on what you believe. I know that most of you will agree sex at thirteen is too young and shouldn't happen but it does, everyday and we can't change it or stop it.
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A
male
reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (28 March 2008):
 Overall I agree with you.
However, to tie this to religion is in my opinion a losing battle. Society is becoming increasingly secular, if you rely on faith to convince people then you'll not help everyone who isn't religious. As in, if I don't believe in God why should I be moral? And any 'solution' to this needs to speak to everyone.
The answer is, of course, that healthy sexual behaviour is important for everyone. And heathy sexual behaviour (not abstinence) does mean being choosy about who you have sex with and how you do it. This is a message that is lost amongst the noise.
Personally I try to understand why this is happening, and then what can be done positively about it. These answers I think have a lot to do with the growth of industrial and consumer society, the role of media, and shifts in our cultural perception of what it means to lead a good life. Our shift in values has been an unintended consequence of our efforts to advance humanity. By continuously increasing our focus on material comforts and keeping ourselves constantly entertained, we've dragged ourselves away from the things that really count in life: family, friends, and our community.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (28 March 2008):
I totally agree with you! Although I chose to have sex before marriage, the love and teachings of Jesus Christ and the Catholic church have kept me going all my life.
Although I will make a note:
the Catholic church is against artificial methods of contraception. Natural methods are accepted, the Billings Method is actually tought or at least advised during pre-marital classes!
Surely, if more people had religious morals, there would be less abortions and less bad relationships!
Society expects to know right from wrong on the bases of what pleases the individual right here, right now.
It's wrong, but human beings have always been like this, really. That's why we need God's grace in our lives!
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