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Has my long distance relationship any hope?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Faded love, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

my fam and i had a vacation in baguio. imet this guy andended up having a long distance relationship with him. am i just wasting my time? it seems that he doesn'thave any plans of us being together.

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A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2006):

Angelicc agony auntlong distance relationship can be hard physical, mentally, emotionally. they can break you, lower your esteem and cause you to have trust issues. you need to be very secure a person and relationship wise as you need to be able to stay loving but also to be you own person. you have to be prepared to go without days of contact without worrying to much. you have to be able to trust him with other girls, you have to be able to aviod temptation. the longer your in the relationship the harder its gets. if you dont think your ready get out now before you fall in love with him.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2006):

DrPsych agony auntI can tell you from experience that long distance relationships can work out for the best but you both have to try really hard to keep it bobbing along. I married my long distance BF and he had to move country to live with me...not to mention the visa battle with immigration that took over a year and a half to sort out. In that time, I only saw him twice in person because of work etc but we emailed/ phoned a lot and the distance made me more sure he was the right one for me. Anyway if you think it is a good relationship, why not give it a chance?

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2006):

Dazzerg agony auntThere is some detail missing from this which makes it hard to answer: for example, how long has this been going on? Not alot of people would consider making plans to move long distance after something like a month but your concern maybe more valid if this has been going on for a year.

Long-distance things eventually end up with one partner having to make a great sacrafice in terms of movement and it is only natural the relationship needs to be given time to get to a point where people feel able to do that. In general I would say talk to him, mention it and see what response you get before making any judgments either way.

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A female reader, Anya +, writes (27 April 2006):

How long have you been corresponding with him now? It could be very difficult to continue as a long distance reltionship. A good grounding for the reltionship needs to be bulit up first, time spent together to build up trust etc. If you have not had that to start with then it may fizzle out. In order to keep a relationship going it is essential to spend time together. Sorry to say this but I don't think it will work. Better to cut things off now! Nothing will have been lost, just put it down to experience! x

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