A
male
age
30-35,
*eavermu
writes:Hi, I'm nearly 16 and I live in Warwickshire in England.The question I wanted to ask is has anyone here came out at this age to their friends and family? If so, can you advise me on how to go about it?I usually would have little trouble, but my mum can be homophobic and some of my friends are. Also, news spreads like wildfire in my school and community, so I'd instantly become notorious (which I would rather avoid)I'm staying at my school for sixth form as well, so I can't just run from the issue. I was thinking of waiting until uni to come out, but all this walking on eggshells hurts :(I would prefer first hand experience, but any help is much appreciated.Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (6 February 2009):
I must start off by saying i never came out at 15 however i do know a boy who wrote his parents a letter. His mum cried and his dad who i would have bet money would go mad actually asked the mum why she was crying. His grandparents were relived because they knew he was carrying a heavy sadness and did not know what was wrong. The result has been that the whole family have accepted him as he is and he is a happier person because he is nolonger carrying the worry of what people will think. worse ways mate you'll be news for a week then everyone will move on to something new. I never knew when i was young that i was gay. I wish i did i envy guy people the freedom they have to be in tune with who they are. Live your life mate be happy xxx As a mum of 3 i know my children's happiness comes above everything
A
male
reader, theambassador +, writes (6 February 2009):
Hi.It's never an easy thing to do, I came out when I was 15, with little/no support from any friends or anybody else who knew about me (I lived in a pretty remote part of the country at the time).From talking amongst my own group of friends which inevitably leads to the "coming out" stories, most were of the opinion that their friends and family already suspected something.My own mum wasn't a worry, she's always been very accepting of alternative lifestyles, culture and race so I knew that it wouldn't be a big deal, however I thought my dad would be the main concern. He was very much a "man's man" and was always ready to make negative comments on anybody who was anything less than 100% straight - I took the plunge anyway and laid the facts out on the line and gave him the choice of whether or not to accept it, but made it clear that I was not going to apologise for my sexuality but I could understand if he was upset.I think from the point of view as a parent (and it might be useful if some of you with kids out there yourself could add to this) it is a very difficult thing to accept for your own children, knowing that so many people harbour prejudice towards LGBT people, are often quite hostile, and knowing that often there is little that they can do to protect their own children from this.If your friends are friends worth hanging onto they will accept you for who you are.Best wishes.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): I used to write a newsletter sort of thing at the end of each year and dropped a mention in of "my boyfriend" which did the trick! I had already told my parents though. I prefered that sort of approach as it told people without making a big deal about it... unlike the usual approach of specifically telling people you are gay.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): I didn't until I was 20 and seriously that was waiting way too long. If it really concerns you about how it will be at school then wait until you leave school as from your age that won't be far away.If any of your friends have a problem with it then they aren't very good friends and probably not worth having. Do keep in mind though that some of those you think will not like it will turn out not to have even the slightest problem, and some who do have a problem with it will come round after a while.You don't know how people will react and what the effect will be. I've had no bad reactions but unfortunately some people do.
...............................
A
female
reader, YuukiBear  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 Well, I am bi but it was just as hard to tell my parents and friends. I eventually told them and they didn't seem to mind. Even my friend who is a major homophobe didn't seem to mind. People at school found out and I was the topic of choice for a while but it ended as soon as it started. Teens are immature and will talk but still. They wont hate you. They wont think any differently about you. Just take your time and you will be fine. Oh and be confidant!
...............................
A
female
reader, HeartASHXOXO +, writes (3 February 2009):
heyyso im sixteen and im not gay, but 2 of my bestfriends are. They are both 16 and came out like a year ago. One is a guy and nobody cares that hes gay b/c he is the nicest person you could ever meet. and hes so loving, everyone wants to be his friend. The other is a girl and sure when people found out they talked for like a week but they way they treated her never changed. Sweetie, were in high school people are going to talk for a bit but nobody will treat you different. As for telling, your familly and friends will love you nomatter what and they should feel happpy for you that you can be yourself around them =]hope i helped... you can message me if you wanna talk!!
...............................
|
