A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is really general question really but I would love to know the answer.I was completely in love with someone once, nothing ever happened and I really knew I had to get over it.. And then I became infatuated with somebody else, and my feelings for the original person that I was in love with slowly slipped as my infatuation for another man grew.Now I have always had a theory that you have 100% of love in you, and if you have feelings for 2 guys, as feelings for one grows, the other will decrease. And your "100% of love" is always shared out.Why is this? Why is it that I can not seem to be without love in life? Why do I always have to fall for another guy to get over a different one?I guess what my question is..Why do I always need rebound guys?Why can't I live my life without love?Is there anybody that has absalutely NO feelings for anyone, or has lived their life without love?Thanks Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Somethingeasy  +, writes (10 February 2008):
 Your young. I've been out in the world on my own for almost 4 years now. I'm young too, but the world has made me feel like im 100 years old. I've gone years without love in my life. They are someof the coldest years Ive ever gone through. You should be glad you don't know what it's like with no love. It's like not having a soul.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  + ♥, writes (10 February 2008):
 Well you maybe young but human beings do have a basic need for campanionship in it's various forms and that is what you are expressing here. Other people are a vital part of anybodies life both emotionally and physically. Some people need other people more than others to provide different things, emotional security for example.
I think the key is to remember 'various forms' so that can mean friendship for example, logically however your age would direct your affections in that direction due to hormonal urges. I think the only advice for you is to try and make the most of all the relationships (meaning friendships and such like) you have in your life and not depend on the romantic ones so much, but I know that is hard, good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): In my experience, when you truly love someone, no amount of rebound relationships can change that. I have had my fair share of rebounds, and while it is absolutely true that rebounds will get your mind off of the previous lover, it is totally false that my rebound could come close to sharing the 100% that I felt for my last boyfriend. Of course you may end up feeling love and caring for the rebound, but all I am saying is that when you truly definitely fall inlove, it's really hard to meet someone that comes close to comparing to that person. You could date five different guys and in the back of your mind, that one guy who you loved would still be out of their league. So even though the rebound may appear to be filling up your 100%, there is no way he really could because you would have to meet the one in order for you to feel complete anyways. I think the love you feel for each person often comes from a different place and often feels different and just like a snowflake is kind of unique and no single one is the same. So you probably have alot of different 100%'s all with different priorities that you save for different people. Cause the love I have felt for each guy I have dated has been different and there is no way that it all came from the same 100%.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): If you are 13-15 then you are quite young yet in the ways of life and love. I lived for most of my life without love. I wasnt in love with the previous guys, i thought i was at the time, when i look back, no way. I am in love now, and i know that in the future when i look back i will be still in love with the guy i am married to right now. I was married to a wife beater for 20 years and then with a psycho pathic nitwit for 11.5 years, thank f i didnt marry that one!! Now this is different. You are young and your head will be sorted out better in time, but right now, stop worrying and enjoy your youth.
take care
xx
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