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Had sex with my step brother then he got mad when he found out I was a virgin!

Tagged as: Family, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2010) 12 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2010)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok I am not here so people can say rude things I am just need a little advice form OPEN MINDED people.

My step brother is 10 yrs older then me. (We have the same dad). I am 18 and he is 28. He recently moved back home because him and his gf broke up. saturday night we were alone watchign a movie (he had a few beer)and he started rubbing my legs then went futher. He rubbed my whoel bodya nd keep saying how beautiful I was. I really didnt know what to do so I just let him. He had never doen anythign liek this before. Monday night he came in my room and said that what he had doen was totally out of line and that he was drinking meant nothing by it. I thought ok and just let it slide. But then yesterdayhe came in my room while I was cleanign and sat on my bed and started talking. I sat down beside him and talked when out of no where he kissed me. I was shocked but I didnt stop him. He ddint stop there he kept kissing me and touchign me. he had me naked and was doing oral sex when he looked up at me and asked "can i f*** you". I didn;t knwo what to do, I knew it was wrong but it felt good so I nodded yes. we ended up having sex. before he finished he said soemthign along the lines of me being so tight, afterwards he asked how he measured up to the other guys i had and when I said I hadnt had any other guys he freaked out. He started yelling at me that I should have told him I was a virgin. Now he wont speak to me. Why would it matter if to him if i was a virgin or not,

View related questions: broke up, kissing, oral sex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010):

The first question I'll hope to answer for you is "why is he mad at me / not speaking to me for not telling him I was a virgin before we had sex?"

He's being a real shithead here, girl. For ages men have either known or believed this to be true: have sex with a virgin girl and she will fall madly in love with you and never, ever let the male have another minute's peace.

While there may be some degree of truth (or not) to the position stated above, it makes no difference as far as you are concerned. He looked up at you and asked if he could (penetrate) you. HE didn't ask if you were a virgin and if learning that you had been a virgin at that point in time was going to so seriously piss him off, then HE SHOULD HAVE asked right then and there if you were a virgin. You did nothing wrong in regards to this question.

As for the right and wrong (and anything in between) on the issue of having sex with your stepbrother, who am I to judge? I think the only mistake you made here was having sex with "him", because he sounds like a real jerk.

Either way, perhaps it's best to move on quietly, and not allow him the pleasure of your company so much - no more sex for him, and seriously cut down or cut out completely even the smallest of small chat with him.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (16 March 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntVery few people are even answering the question, The poster didnt come on here to be judged shes looking for advice, all you people condeming here have your own closets full of skeletons so stop acting like your so difrent.

Any wya to the poster theres enough explanations why your brother got mad so i wont go into that but you should talk to him because he has no rite to treat you that way. and you shouldnt let him.

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A female reader, desiree1 United States +, writes (16 March 2010):

I think it was wrong but i can never look at you wrong or think of you wrong he a man you almost grown if you tried to stop him it may got worst so u wont get punish he would he going to regret this one day you just move on with our life an find true love like i did u grown you mind ass well say so live your life you only got one dont let that rewin your life ok

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A female reader, jaime90 Australia +, writes (11 March 2010):

jaime90 agony auntHe is probably feeling bad that now when people ask you who did you lose your virginity to you will be saying "my brother"

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010):

You have the same dad? So he's not your step brother.. he is your half brother? Therefore you have half blood. It is incest.

I have 2 half brothers and 2 half sisters and i've never looked at them as step brothers and sisters because they're not.. 2 have the same mom and two have the same dad.

What you did was very wrong, it is actually ilegal.

The reason he freaked out when you told him you were a virgin was because he wanted just sex, and if you were a virgin you may be clingy with him and take it more seriously. Also the fact he now knows his little sister has lost her virginity with him.

I know it happened and these things do, sometimes you can't help sexual attraction. But I advise you to stop this act because what if your dad found out his two children are having sex? Or worse, what if you got pregnant!?

All the best.

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A female reader, ChristineAvril United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2010):

ChristineAvril agony auntHis anger wasn't really directed at you, but himself and his guilt for what he did, both for doing it to you, his half-sister and for taking your virginity.

Your posting does not give your country, so I cannot be sure if it was even legal: in the US, almost certainly not, but possibly OK in the UK as we are more relaxed over here.

Things will calm down in time, but I don't feel that you should continue this sexual relationship, even if you are very careful.

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2010):

kayla20 agony aunthe prob saw it as a way to make himself feel better for loosing his girlfriend when you split with someone best way to get over it sometimes is to go and sleep with the next girl you see however after having sex with you he probably realised that he shouldnt have because you are related but in a brotherly way didnt want to know that you was a virgin and that he had taken that from you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010):

I GUESS he just wanted sex. Having taken your virginity would make it more than just a fling. I'm sure he's not looking for anything close to commitment after having just broken up.

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A female reader, LilPixie United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2010):

LilPixie agony auntFirst off, I'm sorry to say but if you have the same dad, he is not your step brother - he is your half brother, and therefore it's incest.

If he was willing to have sex with you, I don't know why it would matter if you're a virgin or not. Only thing i can think of is that he may feel guilty for taking your virginity. No matter how hard he tries to ignore you, you have to confront him and ask him why it's a problem for him. After this I'd advise you to stay away from him. Although you should have thought more about what you are doing, it's also understandable in a way that you let him do that to you... A lot of girls go along with it in the 'heat of the moment'.

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A female reader, baddest_chikk Panama +, writes (11 March 2010):

baddest_chikk agony auntwell to start this off u guys are blood relatedd.. tht is the most disguisting thinq i have ever heardd but trust im in no position to judge.. it sounds like he took advantage of you i mean u dont really seem bothered by the fact u jus slept with ur brother..wen i think of a step brother/sidter i think of two seperate parents marring making them become realted.. this is ur half brotherr.. anyways he was bothrred because ur first time is suppose to be special and romantic and with someone u love.. he wasnt looking for anything and girls often develop this attatchment to their first and they usually hold a special place in their heart for them..he doesnt want to be tht special person..

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A female reader, mommy01 United States +, writes (11 March 2010):

mommy01 agony auntWell, even though you are his step sister and it felt okay at the time that afterwards he realized that he took your virginity and felt very ashamed and confused. He may not be mad at you, just a little upset and beside himself. Don't blame yourself, just give it time and everything will be okay, whether you love him, you end up together, or everything goes back to the way it was before, it will be okay. I mean obviously he can't run away from the situation because he is part of your family.

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A male reader, Psychology101 United States +, writes (11 March 2010):

Maybe he feels guilty about it, he may not have wanted to be the first one. Who knows, ask him.

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