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Had sex with my best friend's brother and now she's mad at me...

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, my name is sara and im 22 I have a very close friend whose lately got so mad at me because of something i have done

we used to be best friends since we were 11 and we are also living in the same neighbourhood

i don't even remember

that we have been far from each other for more than 2 days

until now.

The story is that my friend's parents were out country travelling in egypt

and she stayed alone with her 18 years old brother,

i went to here home to give her something but she was out with her boyfriend and her younger brother got the door,i asked him about her and he told me that she's out ,then i wanted to leave but he invited me in ,and since i had nothing to do and i was so bored

i did came in.

We first start talking and having fun for like 1 hour but then we started to talk about sex and a thing let to another and we ends up having sex in his room

and since he told me that his sister will be out for a long time i thought that no one will see us but suddnly and while we were doing it his sister opend the door and caught us and she did nothing but calling us(sick bastards)before shutting the door,her brother said to me (don't care about her and kept kissing me) but i didn't i left him right weher he was and ran out to talk to her but she told me never speak to her again and then she started cursing her brother.

I thought if i stayed away from her for some time she will cool down,but she didn't she actually don't want to speak to me any more without even telling me why she is so angry about it,eventhough i apologized over and over again.

Please you nice people tell me what to do,i don't want for our friendship to end just like this (and please tell me what the hell is she so mad about)

i mean if i had a brother and she had sex with him ,i wouldn't even care about it (thanks all)

and i hope you help me out.

View related questions: best friend, friend's brother, kissing, neighbour

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009):

Unfortunately, there are lines you just don't cross and this is one of them. You only get sexually involved with your best friend's siblings if you 2 are in a relationship (and even getting into that is tricky), but you don't just have casual sex with him. It makes things too complicated.

Look at it this way... through her eyes, its her brother... and you're like a sister to her. So, when she walked in on that incident, it was like walking in on her brother and sister having sex. So, seeing it that way, to her it was disgusting.

Also, I think you mentioned your best friend is Egyptian. There are may be some cultural things here at work as well which, for her, makes what you did so terrible. She just may not view casual sex as freely as you do, especially when it comes to family members. Its one thing what you do with other guys, but a whole other ball game to do it to her brother.

That said, the others are correct... you need to give her some time. And you need to apologize... and when you do, please take into consideration what I've written. Saying you're sorry without understanding her point of view is meaningless.

Hope this helps.

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