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Guys, why don't you just call?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2010)
A age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I need male input - why do you all of a sudden disappear? and are there certain rules to follow when texting/calling a girl? this baffles me! I did not come on too strong nor talked relationship, ex, or sexual. what's the deal?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

That clears it up pretty well. If he likes me, he'll make the move. thanks everyone

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (10 July 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't know if this will help but once a male friend of mine ,asked the same question, gave me this example. He said : suppose today I go in a steakhouse and order steak . Everything is fine, the steak is juicy, the service is corteous, the price is right, I am happy with my meal, and I have nothing in particular to complain about. But, it does not mean that tomorrow , or next week, I will want to go have the same steak in the same restaurant. It was a good dining experience, yes- but that was it, an experience, that I may or may not wish to replicate in time.

Less callous than it sounds, after all. Women (including me ) have for the most part really a hard time to just relax and go with the flow. They have plans, they have expectations- right from the get-go. They are projected into the future, they always want to know "where this is going ", they take any first or second date as the first of second chapter of a long book. For men, it may be just a self-contained short story. Which does not mean they did not like it. Just that it's easy to catch a man's attention but that for keeping his attention in time, it takes something really extra, something very specialo- at least according to their own standards.

In part this is biologibal, in part it's cultural, but,alas, I am afraid that the steak example may have contain quite a bit of truth...

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2010):

It depends on the guy and it depends on what he's feeling. Some guys won't disappear at all. Others will.

Basically, the first general reason is this. Women (in my opinion) can really look at their own emotions very quickly, and are often sure about how they feel about certain things very quickly.

Men aren't like that. It can take us a few days of sitting there whilst we twiddle our thumbs as we work out how we feel. So maybe the guy you like is still unsure or confused about what he's feeling. Maybe he just needs a little time to work out that he actually does like you.

There is, sadly, the other reason. That is that he was only after sex, and he either got bored of waiting, or used you (depending how long you've been seeing him and how far you've gone). These guys are the ones to avoid.

So, you need to sit down and work out which guy this one might be. If he hasn't phone you or spoken to you in another three days, call him. If, after that he's still not responding, then move on.

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A female reader, LLindy87 United States +, writes (10 July 2010):

LLindy87 agony auntlol if you figure this out PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I'm having the same problem.

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