A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A question for the guys: If you met a woman at a party and she wanted to see you again, how would you like to be contacted? I was at a huge anniversary party yesterday. I was bored so I looked across the room and I saw this charming guy who was one of the hired musicians. We made eye contact a few times and I awkwardly tried to flirt, but he was busy making music and I was busy talking to the other guests. This morning though I saw him again at the train station when I was waiting for the train with my relatives. I walked over to him before I knew what I was doing, introduced myself and complimented him on his performance. We then started a really nice conversation about music and stuff, but the train arrived and I went back to my relatives, so we just said good-bye. Now I can't stop thinking about him. There's something about him, an attraction, that I haven't felt in a very long time. It's not really the looks, it's everything, I'm smitten. As soon as I came home today, I googled him and because he's a musician, he's got e-mail and phone number out there for bookings. I also found out he's on facebook. Now my question is, what to do next? Sit there and do nothing (he knows my full name, too and I'm on facebook as well)? Or immediately contact him or wait for some days, for not coming off as desperate? Should I add him as a friend on facebook and add a message (saying what)? Should I ask him out for a drink immediately, or should I play it cool and not act too interested? I don't know how to do this! Thanks for any advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice! I added him and he accepted :)! And he "poked" me, whatever that means. So, I'll just think of a nice and short message now and hope for the best.
A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (11 April 2014):
 I'd go ahead and add him, no harm in that at all! If he is interested at all then things will come naturally but if he isn't then at least you'll have made a new friend! :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 April 2014):
 I agree with Cerberus.
Why not add him? You can always send a PRIVATE message telling him you hope it wasn't weird to add him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2014): I'd add him on Facebook, if he accepts then I'd send a message saying I hope he doesn't find it weird that I added him but it was lovely to talk to him those times.
OP if you've found his Facebook, have you checked to see if he's spoken for? If there's concrete evidence that he is then I wouldn't bother adding him.
If that info isn't on show and you discover he is only after he accepts, then keep it neutral and just that he seemed a nice person if you know what I mean. If it looks like he isn't spoken for then feel free to chat to him on FB and ask him out when you feel it's appropriate.
OP he's a musician, he'll be used to random people adding him so just go ahead and do that.
By all means play it cool too, but you want to go on a date with this guy so you can't seem disinterested really. OP you're not a teenager, there's need to worry about playing it cool or playing anything, it's okay to show interest and ask him out. That is the reason you are contacting him, don't be afraid of being honest about your intentions.
Remember, OP, he's a musician, he gets this all the time. Playing an instrument is a bigger turn on than money or looks.
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