A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so im going to ask a question which im sure many of you will find sounds shallow and conceited.but i genuinely am asking because i have a problem and im not fishing for compliments or trying to make anyone angry. so if you find this question offensive then please dont bother answering.well basically people tell me that im a pretty girl and my guy friends tell me im hot and they think im attractive.but i can never seem to get a date. as much as i try to come across as a laid back person who isnt shallow and try to smile as much as i can i never get asked out.if im in a club or bar, i notice guys checking me out and ill try smile and give them the go ahead but nothing happens. my friends will all get hit on but i never do!so i wanted to ask particularly the guys out there.if you see a pretty girl, and you find her attractive, do you sometimes hold back because you find her a bit intimidating? xx. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (2 August 2011):
 Hey.Well first of all your not vain in thinking your good looking or hot. Vanity is when you consider yourself higher than other people and delibratly treat them like they are lower than you, so aslong as you don't do that its all good in the hood.
Well i do agree with chigirl on some aspects of this, also what alot of people do these days is steroytype which i hate. They might see you and because your pretty they might think you have practically no brains, be as vain as fuck and just genarally be stuck up and mean, like when some people might see a goth and think they cry all day and write heart-breaking poetry and feel sorry for themselfs when this is most the time never the case.
I do think alot of guys are intimidated by stunning girls as they may well feel as though they can't step up to the mark if that makes sense or you will turn them down straight away because they themselfs don't feel good enough.
It is worth waiting for someone who has confidence to acutally make a move on you or atleast talk to you, but like chigirl said wear some nice clothes that show off your figure put on some makeup but not too much so men can see you have natrual beauty start convorsations and go around on your own.
Meet people with friends and hopefully you will find a guy who you just natrually click with in looks and personality.
Hope this helps x
A
male
reader, krit  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 OHH come on !!
Every girl thinks or wants to think she's pretty and if not then we make you realize that.
Being intimated by them or not --depends on guy involved. BUT its hard to believe that you haven't come across any confident guy who doesn't mind approaching perfect 10's.
It has to be something else which is stopping them from doing so.
REST all said by others so try and follow the body language rules.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 "It'll be because you obviously love yourself. Men like real women who are genuine not fixated on how attractive they are. Vanity is very unattractive. "
The anon is a jerk. Yes, you have a good self image, which is great. I also think I look hot, no bragging. I just like who I am and it appears you do too, which is quite refreshing today with all the insecure people running around. So, don't pay attention to this anon poster, it's rubbish.
Guys get intimidated by pretty girls, yes. And confident girls especially. They think they don't stand a chance. Maybe they aren't fit for you either when you think about it, if you met someone with a healthy level of confidence who isn't a chicken he'd approach you, and such a guy would be way better than scaredy cats who don't have any confidence/are insecure and will probably try to undermine you any chance they get.
I dislike saying I'm "better" than someone, but I used to be with a guy who didn't like himself, and in comparison to him I was a super model. Of course he was a special case, hope you never meet someone like him, but he took every opportunity to undermine me and make me feel less pretty, make me feel bad about myself, if I got attention from other guys he's hint at me being a whore or the guys only wanting sex etc. He was terrible. Find yourself a man with CONFIDENCE who wont try to play games with you and pull you down to his low confidence level.
If you're out with friends you might not get attention because guys don't feel comfortable approaching a group of people, or even a couple of people, as it could be called interrupting/being rude. Try to walk around on your own when you hit the club next, and don't hang tight with your girl friends all the night. And make the first move yourself. Also try to "under-dress", not glamming up over the top you know. With so much prettyness going on you don't need to go all out with cleavage and tiny skirts, instead go for a style that will keep the guys wondering what's underneath. Like a nice t-shirt and tight jeans for clubbing instead of the glitter dress. Keep the make-up on a low too.
I also found that if you do something unusual the guys find it easier to approach you as they will have a conversation starter. Try to make the first moves yourself, or do something fun that makes it easy to open conversation. Like do a radical hairstyle for fun, or draw a little heart on your cheek (done that, it attracts attention from all sorts of guys and they get to start by saying "is that a real tattoo?". Or chose a fun top that they can come and "study" and ask you about (t-shirts with text can be dumb on every day occasion, but when clubbing it has it's effect). You need a conversation starter!
Try to meet guys through friends too. As friends. And let things develop slowly. You never know, you might have met your future boyfriend already.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): Not intimidated. Most "hot" girls, in my experience, are addicted to male attention that gets annoying FAST. Hence, after dating a few, been there done that not interested
If u want to overcome this predisposition: dress down, try to highlight your other great attributes - or develop some if there are none. Are u funny? Exceptionally kind? Witty? Really down to earth? Very smart or well-travelled? You get the picture....
...............................
A
female
reader, doll-face +, writes (2 August 2011):
Just be yourself... afterall, if you do get approached you want it to be because of who you are, not who you're not
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 I know you say you try to look approachable, but you might not be coming across that way. Approachability is every bit as important as looks when it comes to meeting new people. Smile and make eye contact for a bit longer than is comfortable, then turn away about 90 degrees from the guy while continuing to smile so he can approach without feeling like he's under a spotlight.
The other bit might be your friends. Do they look like they would make life hard for anyone trying to hit on you? Most pretty girls have at least one less-attractive friend who makes it very clear by her demeanor and body language that they will run interference on any guy attempting to approach. Distance yourself from this friend.
...............................
|
