A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating a guy I feel very comfortable with, we both open up a lot and there is a lot of safety, good feels, and emotional connection. However, we both know its short-lived. He's leaving for a great internship and may not move back after his internship ends (he got a job offer elsewhere as well). We both knew this before things became intimate, I wanted to have sex and enjoy the fun so we both jumped in and its been good so far. But I am being very bewildered by some of his actions. I know during sex people can open up a lot and say stuff in the moment that feels good to them and their intimate partner but not necessarily mean it in a serious relationship sense. But last we met, we made love quite a few times. And he looked sad for a moment and told me he may not come back to our city, hes may be going away forever and he doesnt want to hurt me. He gave me these large sad eyes and said hes been thinking about me so much and feeling sad (my father is also dying). He says he cant bear to hurt me. I tell him its okay and we kissed and I smiled and told him Im really excited for him to go and work at this really cool internship opportunity. We continue to talk openly about ourselves, exes, loves, dreams, etcLater as we said good bye, he looked at me a bit shyly and said he had a great time with me. I am very confused...I know he is leaving. And sex is good, feelings are good, it feels good overall and Im sad hes going but I know I can always date and find someone else. But here he is..giving me all these mix signals. He is saying very boyfriend things to me while also seemed to be saying bye? I am very confused. Please help me make sense of this. The way I see it is..we can have fun and joy the heck of out each other before he goes and even have some beautiful moments. I guess the fact that hes worried for me...makes me feel worried for him too if that makes sense.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2016): Sounds like he's genuinely conflicted about leaving and possibly never returning, but he also recognizes the harsh reality that he would be a fool to forego a such a tremendous opportunity in order to pursue a relationship (just as you would be if the roles were reversed).
If you are truly meant to be then you'll find your way back to each other sometime in the future, but that is an extremely unlikely possibility.
As other aunts have advised, all you can do is enjoy the time you do have together and cherish the memories when he's gone.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 July 2016):
 I agree, there are no mixed signals here.
I think if he had cared less, you would have seen no reaction. The guy cares for you and he knows you care for him. So yes, enjoy the time you have together.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 July 2016):
 I agree with N 91- what mixed signals ?
He is telling it like it is : he enjoys your connection and the good times you are having together, and he regrets knowing that soon this will be over- AND he is going on with his life and programs. I don't see where's the contraddiction .
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (12 July 2016):
 It's normal, you guys are having a good time together and I'm sure he's going to miss you as much as you're going to miss him.
It doesn't sound like he's giving you mixed signals, it sounds like he's providing a perfectly normal response to showing that he likes you a lot and that he's going to miss spending time with you when he starts his internship.
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