A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, recently I've been thinking about this guy a lot, nonstop. I've liked this guy for years, but finally I decided to try to give him signs that I do like him. So a year ago, after I've worked on my confidence issues and tried to be more open and confident about myself, I've started to make eye contact, hold the gaze, smile at him. He hasn't acted interested at all, and he just kind of rejects these signs. So I decided to move on and realized that we're just not meant to be. So after a few months, he suddenly started to make eye contact all the time and also stare at me. My friends do catch him glancing at me a lot. A week ago, I was standing by myself in the hall, and he walked past me and stared into my eyes deeply, no blinking. I got very shy and I just looked down, he did this thing 3 times. My friend told me that when she was talking to me, she caught him looking starig at meand then he turned his face quickly as soon as my friend caught him. Also my other friend always catch him looking and glancing at me. Since he has been staring at me, he had always commented on my photos and liked them (although he used to like but he never used to comment at all) he would also compliment. But he never start the conversation at all. He just keeps staring all the time. I really want to have a good conversation with him because we have tons of stuff in common. But I'm too shy to start a Convo. And even tho if I just took the courage to start a conversation, I would blush and stutter and just look goofy and lame. I would sometimes hold the gaze but I break it when I just feel nervous. Is there any way to give him hints or even to make him comfortable enough to talk to me? Or at least is he attracted to me?
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confidence, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 September 2015):
 Z:^)
\m/
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 September 2015):
I meant the thumb by your ear and the pinkie finger by your mouth, having tried it again. Oops. :) \nn/
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 September 2015):
Put your thumb and pinkie finger out in a "Y," hold the thumb near your mouth and the pinkie near your ear and mouth the words "call me" and then smile. Okay, I know, that'll make you too shy to do.
Wave hello the next time you make eye contact and smile. Do that every day for 2 weeks. Then work up to saying "hi" as you walk by with a smile. Do that every day for 2 weeks. Then say "you look nice today" as you walk by with a smile. Do that every day for 2 weeks. Basically, get more comfortable making eye contact, smiling, saying a word, then a few more words, with time you'll be able to say a few sentences to him without feeling so self-conscious.
You say you've been working on your self-confidence, is that an on-going thing with some professional help? Or are you doing this work by yourself in some way? How are you working on that self-confidence?
He may be so painfully shy himself that he's worried that he'll just blush and stutter and look goofy and seem lame.
You know how your mother would tell you that the spider was more scared of you than you were of it? I think this is one of those cases where you imagine that people are thinking all kinds of things about you when in fact they are doing nothing of the kind, they're too worried about themselves.
Do you spend your days looking at people judging them? Of course you don't. So why do you think people are spending their days looking at you judging you?
Practice short conversations with your mom and your close friends to get used to saying short phrases.
Here are a few articles which may change your thinking about how you interact with him or other people: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201106/how-overcome-shyness
http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/03/living/how-to-overcome-shyness-relate-real-simple/
In short, all you can do is try. If you don't try, you'll never know how he feels about you. It could be the most freeing thing you do in your life, to say, "hi, how are you, I say you on FB the other day and thought that xyz was so funny." You may find he's actually an extremely boring and shallow person! :)
Good luck, I hope something I've offered here helps you break through this self-imposed mental barrier!
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