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Got caught masturbating!!!!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I love to masterbate and love porn. I've been in a relationship for 2 year with my girlfriend and things are great but I feel she does not trust me because I masturbate. I tell her it is just a fantasy, I'm being truthful with her, we make love 4 to 6 times a week but I still need my alone time to let it out my way..

This past Friday she left to go to work and I woke up with a hard on, I was alone in that house and I wanted to release myself and I did, I used her computer to see a couple of movies I had saved on a cd.. Everything was fine until the next morning, she looked in the computer and questioned me about my RUSSIAN WHORES, AND NASTY GIRLS.. I was truthful and I said yea I did it... she was in shock... she thinks I'm a sicko and pervert... I tried to tell her I'm a MAN.. I'm in my prime of sexuality and I'm always horny... AND IT'S NORMAL. I don't know what to say.

Can anybody help me? I was truthful but at the same time GUYS LIKE TO DO THEIR STUFF WITHOUT HAVING TO TELL, IT'S PRIVATE. I also feel she was SNOOPING around, not respecting me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008):

well as i see it you have been with her for 2 years and no sex so tell her you needed to get it out since you two havent done it yet

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (17 March 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntI'm glad you were honest with her, but come on man, you don't need to look up porn to masturbate. Be a little more creative. You can imagine pretty girls in your head!

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (17 March 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntTurn it around, how would you feel is SHE needed to masturbate despite sex with you? If you weren't enough to satisfy her needs?

Not as good right?

Well that is what she is feeling. It doesn't have to be truth, what matters is what she feels. Try to be a little more understanding of her before you ask her to understand you.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2008):

Boonridge McPhalify agony aunt

if you want some privacy cover your tracks and do it on your own pc-duh!

snoopy wont change, people are understanding of differences between themselves and others or they are not. if she has a problem with it then dont leave trails for her to find. personally it wouldn't bother me but i am a man and it would probably bother girls that i know. if you want things to stay sweet then you have to put the effort in...

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A female reader, MT19 United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2008):

I think there is a solution to your problem. Good on you for being honest with your girl wish more men were like you. Your girlfriends reaction is normal, she is probably somone who has not has a huge amount of expereience with porn. Why not try to merege your sex life with her and your sex life by yourself a little bit. Pick one of your tamer films and watch it together, you never know if she tries it she might like it! Also she might feel a little put out that it is other women that you have fantasies about when she was hoping she was enough sexual gratifacation for you. Why not ask her if you can take some saucy pics of her for when you are alone to help you out or better still make your very own private video. This may open up a world of new opportunities for the two of you. Good Luck !!!!

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A female reader, Skeez United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2008):

Skeez agony auntHello.

Well I understand that your girlfriend will be shocked over the fact that you still masturbate even when you make love 4- 6 times a week, and to me that's quite good for someone who has been with them for 2 years.

The fact is that she may be offended that you still need to finish yourself off when she thinks you have plenty of sexual intercourse with her.

You've told her the truth and there's no more you can really do but reasure her that the sex you two have is perfect and you really enjoy it. Masterbating isnt a problem to me really and she shouldnt be so worried bout it, but do talk to her some more. If things do get bad and she wont listen, then perhaps cutting down on the masterbating would be better, or make love more, so you don't have the need to do so. Also the idea of her boyfriend getting aroused by other women having sex is something most women will find offensive and you have to respect that. Talk to her some more and reassure her that everything is perfect about the sex and the relationship.

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