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Got back with my ex because I thought he'd changed... but he hasn't!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 February 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2010)
A female Pakistan age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and a guy have been together for like a year. We met at a party and got totally involved in each other although he was in a relationship with someone else but he told me he would break up with her and that he doesn't contact her anymore.. everything was perfect until the other girl showed up.. i kept telling my boyfriend to break up with her but he didnt so ultimately i left him.

Then his best friend asked me out on a date and i wasn't so sure so we went for a hangout after that i told him i wasn't interested cuz i wasn't over my ex bf.. this is when he revealed the truth to me that my boyfriend had cheated on me for the whole time we were together. He used to make out with his gf who he claimed to not have contacted and not only her but other girls as well. After hearing all this i decided to leave him behind and move on then i met the perfect guy.. everything was perfect until he went abroad for studies and we broke up after being in a relationhip of 6 months.

I went for vacations and soon enough my boyfriend who had cheated on me contacted me, apologising for everything he had done ans stuff. It was like a dream come true, he totally changed! He was like this new person I got madly in love with. We used to make out it was only about me and him but he didnt want to get committed cuz he didn't like restrictions and secondly he had promised to not ever get committed again.

His attitude towards me changed.. he got all busy and moody.. and although we are not committed but we are best friends who meet every day and make out every day.. i really love him but i don't know what to do i got sick of him and out of frustration got in a relationship with a guy who i didnt even like! Next day he found out and that added fuel to fire.. I broke up with him instantly but he's someone else now. He starts screaming at me for no damn reason, he calls me indecent and stuff.. What do i do?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, cheated on me, move on, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

Leave leave leave! He doesnt want commitment, that means: he wants to be able to make out with other girls at the same time! Then you did the same to him and he freaks out, because he wanted you all to himself. This man needs to grow up and realize that if he wanted you to commit, then he needs to commit too!

Too late for that now though. He hasn't changed, and he has shown you exactly who he is. Believe in that, this is him. And leave!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2010):

Leave him, and this time don't go back.

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A male reader, escribanus New Zealand +, writes (8 February 2010):

escribanus agony auntMy dear child, look into the mirror and say I should not be too naive the next time, I wont let the people to take advantage of me so easily.

First, We men use the Tarzan’s strategy, we don't loose a line until we have the next one well grabbed. But if the second girl is fool enough, why don’t keep them both. It is easy, girls will always believe that the other girl is an evil bitch who is trying to steal her male (is true on 60% of the times, but unless she is Angelina jolie, Sandra bullock, or other super hot supermodel, we can say later). Next time, be sure he is free and single, if he is not just dump that lier.

Second mistake, once you date with someone, his friend group are off the menu. We share our knowledge on women, so he surely was like the little fox after what the big wolf has left. The fact that he has told you that your beloved Romeo has fool you, don’t say anything nice about him. If he were true to you, he would have told you before and not now when he expects to catch you off guard (an easy prey). Well there is a possibility that he is not a bad jerk, and only that he was afraid of screwing his friends game, but you must make him wait while you know him better. Remember he might be just a weasel or be a treasure to be discovered, it is on you to create.

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