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writes: Well, this is not a question. I have just decided to opt out as an agony aunt, "uncle". I seem not to have had much success lately. I think it is just an age thing. I am probably to old to give advice to the questioners who seem to be of a much younger age. They seem to want approval rather than advice from old guys like me. My ratings keep dropping and I don't really have the time anymore. I enjoyed my time here. Best wishes to all...and especially to my friends. Bye, Tom Reply to this Article
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reader, Friend Tom  +, writes (3 September 2009):
Well, thank you all for your comments. I will still be around. I just won't be an official "uncle" anymore. It got a little discouraging, and I had some bad PM responses. I did not want to remain an uncle and not allow PM's. I had positive ones as well, and I am appreciative of those. I also do not have a lot of time now to answer all PM's...or even to spend on the site. Hope you understand. It is just better this way for me. Friend Tom
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): Jokes, okay so you're old, and meant to be more mature?! But hey you're leaving because your ratings are dropping! That seems a little immature to me! Plus if your ratings are low, it probably just meant that your comments struck close to home, and sometimes that can be a good thing
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reader, Fifteen +, writes (31 August 2009):
the older you are, the more you have learned and expierenced. therefore you can help give great advice that others may not be able to provide.
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reader, GrimmReality +, writes (31 August 2009):
 Well sorry that you feel that way. I understand if you feel too old. But listen...Your ratings have NO impact on the value of your advice. Take it from me...you thing I give one good damn about ratings? HELL NO!People who rate me low just can't handle the truth. I really don't care what they think. They come here for advice, we give it to em. They take it or leave it.I do know that there are some that like to rate people low just on principle(i.e. they don't like a certain individual and/or their advice). It happens to me all the time. Big Deal..you should'nt give a whit about that. Your opinion is just as valuable as mine or anyone elses. It sure as hell is not going to deter me form giving HONEST and REALISTIC advice. But you are right, most of the young ones want approval for being idiots. Even some of the old ones too. You know them..they keep repeating the same mistakes and come back here every couple of months with a slightly varied version of the same question. It's because they don't listen the first time.Always remember that people who have problems generally want someone here to give them a feel good pat on the back or give them a green light for continuing destructive behavior. You may suffer in your ratings, buts its not an age issue. It's an issue of whether people can handle the truth. I guess you are probably already gone, but don't take it as an insult that ratings are low.
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reader, lowrider +, writes (30 August 2009):
Your never too old! Its wisdom that counts! Some people just think they know it all--if it wasn't for us old folgies nobody would learn a thing. So we're not all "Dear ABBY's" (She gets a lot of mail and people listen, age is a number) but what we do have is experience. Think about your life and the lessons you learned--you do have the answers it is just up to the people to ask the questions--most are afraid, be patient, you just might turn some poor soul's life around. Be truthful--yes it can hurt or not be the answer someone is looking for, that is theirs to ponder. Be kind, good advice goes a lot futher when tempered with kindness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): Huh...What are ratings ? Heh heh.
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reader, sammi star  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 I agree, ratings don't matter at all. And nobody is too old to give advice, everyone has their own life experiences to draw on and being a little older must mean you've been through a fair few things which can only be a good thing right?!
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reader, beachbabe  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 No one is too old on giving advice. =]
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): Sugar Ray Leonard retired once too. Regretted it, came back, kicked ass. An inspiring life story, if you look it up. Take a break and re-charge your batteries, and feel free to come back any time.
Ratings don't matter a toss. Like for instance, the brightest star in the Dear Cupid galaxy has what seems to me to be an obscenely mediocre 'rating'. It's not that the advice is ever anything less than spot-on - just it's maybe not what people want to be told. The rating is a statistic, only vaguely related to the quality of the advice.
I often get the distinct impression that what might loosely be described as my 'advice' is unwelcome, or silently tolerated, by most of the other aunts. Am I bothered? No. If somebody tells you 'thanks a lot' it means you've helped. Ain't that worthwhile?
Come back any time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): Well Said Sam.
Tom - You have given your advice fairly. If they don't want to listen.... sigh, at least you tried.
Good luck.
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): I think I'm a bit too late to reply to this, as the author of this article seems to have gone now.
But I think I just wanted to say that, to anyone else who can relate to what Tom said, please don't give up. Sometimes it can seem like you just can't help anyone. It happens to me sometimes. But it could be that your advice is fine, the OP just may not want to, or be able to, see it. Or maybe they just disagree with your response. But it doesn't mean that you aren't doing a good job.
It also doesn't matter what age you are. I think it's great that we have agony aunts/uncles of all ages, so we can get many different perspectives. You are never too old to give advice or help people, even if they are much younger than you are! Sometimes they may even need that more mature advice!
As for the ratings...the rating is a strange and mysterious thing to me, and it used to bother me a lot when I first started. It troubled me immensely if I saw that my rating had gone down. I wondered if I had upset or hurt someone I had tried to help. It still concerns me to some extent, but I think it is important to try not to take it too seriously. If you help people, you do, regardless of what that rating says.
So to anyone else who has been feeling like this, if you are going to leave this site, then good luck and best wishes. But make sure you are leaving for the right reasons, and not because of things like worrying about the ratings or that you can no longer help people for some reason.
To the author of this, if you get to read it, good luck, and I bet you made a great contribution here and helped many people. x
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