A
female
age
30-35,
*aylordrew
writes:Hi i'm a 23 year old female. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago as (then) just mates no emotional connection just friends. His little sister passed away and i was there for him. 3 years later i moved to a new city and it was a shock that he was moving to the same place to. None of us planned it. We just moved for different reasons. Well we went snowboarding one weekend and we didnt find accommodation in time so we crashed in my car. The next thing we hooked up.... and we were inseperatable ever since. Every thing was good, the sex etcetera... Then things started getting complicated out of the blue. He worked at a bar so would get home early hours and i would become a little parnoid that he was seeing other women ... i checked his email once and i know i shouldnt but read an email saying how much he likes this chick overseas and shes just broken up with her bf and he would move there in a heartbeat if he could but feels bad if i found out that he still had deep feelings for her. i confronted him then he said he was stoned and didnt mean it.....he deleted her to prove to me...i started trusting him a little more then some thing little would happen and id freak, we broke up and he added that girl as his friend straight away. He told me it (us) was getting too intense and he wants to be just friends....what should i do? i love him and want to trust him and would love for us to be back together.But hes a student and working at a bar. i work full time but dont have much after work so get sad. I live 30mins away from him also but moving into town around the corner next week.We are meeting for coffee Sunday and he keeps asking when im moving in to town as i'm moving in with two random guys.I was thinking of writting him a letter?what should i say?ps- i have totaly lost my apetite to eat and have lost 5kg eeeek
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 If he doesn't want to be intense he probably doesn't want to talk about relationships and trust on Sunday. The conversation should be light hearted, and about testing each other's likability. Slowly and slowly if things are good you can build up the connection again. Since he knows that you would be moving in with random guys that triggered his sense of protection and male territorial instinct to grab you from them. So it's possible even if he doesn't want a relationship he still doesn't want you to like other guys.
Moving to a different country for a chick is an absurd idea. You mentioned "that chick," and not an ex. But I've known a guy who flew from California to Spain hoping to patch up with an ex. That was stupid. He stayed but he had a career. I don't know about him and how easy it is for him to move. If he's serious about moving there is nothing that can stop him. It could be his dream to live and work overseas from early on, whether he had known that chick or not.
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