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Going out with two girls and need to pick just one. How do I let the other go without hurting her feelings?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2008)
A male Namibia age 30-35, *eela writes:

uhm... hey to all my angels!!! in a situation and need some advice asap.. il make this very brief hope you understand. two girls.. going out with both.. both of them dont know about each other.. like them both alot but dont know what to do. dont think il be able to live wiyhout one of them but i know that il have to make a dicision sooner or later even though i dont want to because if one finds out about the other then il left with neither of them.. help. how do i let go of one wiyhout hurting there feellings.. this thing has been going on for a month and a week now. please tell me what to do!

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (3 July 2008):

sexi agony auntHi

No matter which way you do it someone is going to get hurt. It wrong to contiue what you doing but you have to make a decision soon. Just look at which one you would rather be with, who treat you right and who loves and would stay faithful to you? End this asap if you donmt want to end up getting hurt. Also the sooner the better.

Regards

Sexi

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (3 July 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntYou already KNOW what you have to do, you just don't want ot do it.

First, make up your mind. Which girl do you want? If you really can't decide, then maybe you are not emotionally ready for a permanent relationship with either one of them at this point and you shouldn't be moving in that direction ... just pull back to where you can just date casually and "play the field", and let go of any girl who can't agree to that.

But assuming you do decide that one of these is THE girl for you, you are then faced with the problem of how to let the other one down with a minimum of pain. It's never easy, being dumped. But I think experience has shown that the best way is usually to get it over with quickly. Explain to the "other" woman that although you've enjoyed her company and really appreciated the times you've had, you feel the time has come to end your relationship. Then stick to that. Don't see her or try to hold on, even as friends, after that. Just make a clean break. Give your relationship with your #1 lady a chance to grow and strengthen without the complications of interference from your old love.

It's going to hurt. It will probably hurt you as well as the woman you leave, because obviously both these women mean a great deal to you. But if you're going to be serious about one, you have to let go of the other. There's just no really good way around that.

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