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Go back or move on?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

It's now been almost a year since my first love broke up with me.

We had been together for 2.5 years.

He was young, immature, and acted stupidly when another girl chased after him. He broke my heart, ended it and went with another girl. We fought afterwards and then didn't speak for awhile. He came around very quickly though, and apologized many times. He felt immense pain as well after realizing I was gone. I eventually was able to forgive him for my own sanity.

Its been 10 months, and now we're able to talk and hang out together.

He realized his mistake and changed completely.

He is sincere and I can feel it.

When I'm with him I can feel that he cares for me so deeply.

Its in the way he looks at me, the way he speaks to me...and the way he communicates and tries so much to be better than what he was before.

We ended up kissing last week.

I was sad over the rebound guy who helped me back up, but doesn't want a relationship and he sat with me and listened, even when it was about another guy!

He said he wanted to be there for me.. no matter what this time..

He wants another chance

He wants to prove to me that he can be everything that he wasn't the first time around...

And I know that these words are not the same as the words spoken from a 16-year-old caught up in the moment and in love.

He proved his sincerity when he was fighting for my forgiveness, and again when I told him to stop: and he gave me all the time I needed...to be alone, to think, to go out with other guys.

I love being with him...we still have a deep connection, and can just talk and understand eachother and laugh forever.

But My problem is....

-I'm 18 and was starting to enjoy being single

-I'm going to college in the fall an hour away

-It's the summer, and I was looking forward to meeting people

-and I still have this 'infatuation' with The Rebound Guy.

But then there's just something so strong with my ex...

I would feel horrible if I went back to my ex, and was still thinking about some other guy or wanting to be out flirting and dating.

I feel so selfish: one of the reasons I want to date around is that I know I can fall back on my ex because there is still something there.

Does inopportune time mean it shouldn't be?

Or am I going to stay out here on my own and then realize too late that he's the one I want to be with?

Should I give him the second chance he deserves?

Should I wait til I'm over the other guy? Or move on and let him move on and date new ppl and if it comes back, it comes back?

View related questions: broke up, flirt, immature, kissing, move on, my ex

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A male reader, Peterk5699 United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

Peterk5699 agony auntI think, as you are going off to uni (college) soon it would be best to not get with this guy again because it's only going to end in pain when you have to leave.

There'll be plenty of guys and new friends at uni and not to sound too harsh but you'll soon be over the ex and having a great time being single.

Have fun being single and 18 (and free) and good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008):

well the big question you have to ask yourself is wether you really like this guy, is he 'the one'? If so then yeah why not give it ago your still young and have everything to live for but on the other hand if you think his time is up and you want to move on and not risk getting hurt again then maybe its best, you might find someone else out there who is going to sweep you off yoru feet. Maybe you just feel sorry for your ex as he seemed genuinely sorry about your break up, you can get all the advice you want from this website but the final decision is up to you... goos luck hun, hope everything turns out well! :) xxx

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