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Girls seem to show interest in me, but why don't they want to date me?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2016)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So I meet this girl at work and we started talking and I was surprised at how easy and effortless it was to talk to her. We seemed to share many same hobbies and stuff. She seemed to like me and was single at the time, anyways while we were talking one day she says she likes to go out dancing with friends and stuff, so i ask her that she should invite me and I ask her for her number. She immediately turns red and smiles and says in a soft voice "you want my number"? I look at her and say yeah and then she smiles and blushes and looks away and changes the subject real quick. I took it that she wasn't interested, so i tried to just avoid her at work but she would always say hi to me and tried to schedule her lunch with mine, which i thought was weird. She would be talking on the phone and would say hi to me out of the blue, she would even go all the way to my department to come in contact with me and she would say hi, i was like eh whatever. Anyways I left that job and I decided to add her on facebook and she didn't accept my friend request, so i just moved on, it was easy since i didn't work with her anymore. Anyways one day I was out grocery shopping maybe like 6 months after trying to add her on facebook and she sees me and immediately puts herself in my field of vision and then gets like 2 feet away from me in the same isle pretending not to notice me while she looks at products on the shelf, and i do the same, it was so strange, if she wanted to talk to me, why didn't she say hi? I was confused as to why she didn't just ignore me or avoid me like i was doing while at the store, i saw her and i avoided her but she came up to me,weird. Anyways this happened a long time ago and was wondering why she acted like she was interested in me but wouldn't go out with me? I thought she was pretty chill.

The reason I'am asking this is because I seem to run into this same situation with every girl i end up liking, they would show a lot of interest in me and when I would ask them out they would refuse a date turning me down for some reason or another, some don't even turn me down, they just avoid the question and continue the conversation. I later bump into them in life and they just stare at me and try to talk to me, why though? They don't want to be friends with me either, they just keep it casual and when I ignore them they get so angry and mad at me. I wonder if it is me, maybe how i come off to them. Am I doing something to make them not trust me enough for a relationship? Maybe it's me? I have a few girls that say they find me intimidating and scary. Some even call me Mr.trouble, lol? I don't know where they get that from since I don't have a reputation for trouble or player or anything like that, so strange!

View related questions: at work, facebook, girl at work, notice me, player

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A female reader, Barnes66 France +, writes (30 October 2016):

Barnes66 agony auntIn my opinion I'd say the girl from work wasn't interested in you... She was just friendly and enjoyed your attention but was not interested anything more.

Additionally, you asked her for her number and she politely brushed you off...that was your answer.There is no way to know if a girl is intrested in you without putting yourself out there.If she turns you down,then move on.Anything else doesn't mean anything. Some girls are just flirty/friendly without meaning anything.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (28 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI agree speak to a close friend and ask them to give you advice. They will know you better than anyone and hopefully they can be honest with you.

It could be that you are meeting girls that like the chase and the attention. It could also be that you are reading friendly signs as more.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (28 October 2016):

Denizen agony auntYou need to ask someone close - someone you trust. Clearly something isn't working for you. Without knowing you it's hard to say. So find a trusted friend and ask them yo give it to you straight. I'm sure you will be able to get yourself sorted.

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