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Girls are confusing, what should I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay so back on October the 12th i was sitting at my computer talking to all my friends until i got a random message from someone i have never talked to in my life. This girl tells me her name and how she doesnt know me, but found me on my friends page. I asked her if i knew her and she said "no, but you will!". So i was like okay and i asked her if she has any pictures and she tells me "yeah on my ex-boyfriends myspace". She sent me the link and i went to go check it out and this girl was absolutely beautiful. I asked for her number and soon to find out, she lives 10 minutes away from me! She is 18 years old and that night on the phone i told her several times how i cannot believe that i am talking to her and it seems like i am on a dream. She tells me that this is real and that i am not dreaming. She text me while were on the phone to ask me a question that she was frightened to ask verbally. She had asked me "what if i told you that i want to be with you?" Right when i read that message, i absolutely could not believe my eyes. First finding out that this beautiful woman is talking to me and now that she wants to be with me! It was crazy. So i told her that i really dont want a relationship because i have been through too many terrible ones in the past. But she told me that its one or the other.....friends or partners. I thought to myself about the answer that night. Then the next morning i was walking to school and called her while on my way. We started talking and i asked her "on a scale of 1-10 what would you rate how much we would see each other?". She thought about it and told me 9.2 out of 10! So i told her okay "will you go out with me?" She told me "i would be more than happy to go out with you!" That made my day hearing her tell me that and i was happy the whole rest of the day. But she tells me how busy she is and how she has to watch her sisters, work long shifts daily as a waitress, hang out with friends, etc. So i keep asking her "when are we going to meet?" and she tells me "i dont know". Then i ask her if we will ever see each other and she tells me yes. She creates a myspace just for me and adds miscelaneous things on her page about me and how she loves me more than anything and whatnot. It made me feel so good about myself by reading/seeing all of that. Two days later she creates ANOTHER myspace which she does NOT include me anywhere on the page, but her top friends list includes more guys than there is girls. This worried me a lot and had no idea what to do. Everytime i talk to this girl on the phone, one way or another there is something she cries over. She tells me not to leave her and even cries about how girls call me cute at work when i dont respond back to them. She confuses me more than anything in this world. I want to be with her and even meet this girl. She tells me that she will never leave me and how she only loves me and only me and everything. I am really lost and have no clue what to do.....someone please respond to this and let me know what i should say to this girl or talk to her about.

thank you :)

View related questions: at work, my ex, myspace, text

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A female reader, sweetnsoursauce United States +, writes (25 October 2007):

sweetnsoursauce agony auntshe sounds a bit boycrazy and jealous, and probably just has a flirty personality. that can definitely be confusing. you should meet up with her. tell her that if she won't meet up with you, you won't be able to continue in the relationship. if she honestly wants to be with you, then she'll meet you face to face.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

Wow, I can't believe no one else has thought of this.. she is not the same girl as who you saw on Myspace. Those were not even her pictures. She's just an insecure person who is trying to lure guys to be into her by posing as a beautiful girl. She needs to talk to you all the time, says she loves you & needs to be with you...however she will not MEET you. She CAN'T meet you, because she isn't who you think she is. And if you ask her she will just deny it. She's made up a few Myspace profiles..and that just re-instates into my head that she's a total poser. A beautiful girl does not need to meet strangers on Myspace and then act psychotic over them when she has never even met them. I'm sorry, but if she won't meet you & you only live 10 miles away, she's hiding something big..I don't think you need to waste anymore time on talking to her. Especially because what she's doing is crazy and irrational. tell her to take a picture of herself doing something very specific, like tell her to write the word "apples" on her forehead with lipstick or something, then have her send you the photo online or with a camera phone. If she can't do that then you've got your answer. You know that if she can put pics. of herself on Myspace that she has some kind of digital cam or camera phone. So don't let her lie to you anymore. And remember..if it sounds too good to be true, IT IS!!

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A female reader, Tashax United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

wwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooohhh!!! seemsss all abit weird 2 me i think u need to tell her to be straight with you you need to meet up and talk calmly i really cant see how you can base any kind of relationship on a myspace page (but who am i to judge?) don't be taken for a fool meet up if there is some kind of chemistry then take it from there... but you need to ask her where you stand

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

okay,

this is confusing and im a girl. lol

she seems like a big flirt to me. THATS IT.

a flirt.and i think its kind of wierd that she would be saying she loves you and stuff, because there is NO way she means it. i've been kind of like her in a way.

having a guy that im kinda comitted to and then behind his back a bunch of guys who like me that dont even know the other guy exists. if you havent already tell her everything your feeling, and that you saw her other myspace. the fact that she has a myspace that she didnt put you on seems two faced and that she is trying to appeal to more than one crowd. WATCH OUT!!! she might even have a boyfriend or 2!!!!

sincerely a girl who thinks you can do better!!!

dont let her fool you!!!

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

cd206 agony auntSounds like however beautiful and amazing she is that she has serious insecurity issues. She's too scared to go out and meet anyone in "real life" although I don't personally see anything wrong with meeting on the internet. She seems to need boys to notice her to validate her existence and that will lead to problems sooner or later. It would seem to me that she does have feelings for you, it's just a case of whether she wants you or she needs you. Obviously the former is preferable. We should all be there for the people we love but if they're just spinning us a lie then that situation changes.

CD

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007):

wow, looks like you have quite a bit to think about.

I'm afraid being the same age you are, i can't really adivce you on everything, but i thought i should put down my opinion on the matter.

Its seems to me that she likes the idea of being with you, and most definatletly likes you in that way, but it seems that she doesn't want you to be involved in her life to much. It's nice that your able to meet some-one over the internet that you get on with so well, however without meeting the girl, there's no way you can have a proper realtionship with her, especialy at your age. It's important that you meet up with her and get to know her as a person, not online, before calling yourself a couple.

i hope that helps a little

oh an if she doesn't want to meet up or keeps making excuses, you need to stand up for yourself and explain how you need to see her, if she really wants to be with you, she will meet up..other wise she's not worth it...

=]

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