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Girlfriend's promiscous past confuses/excites me

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, *yalanrose writes:

After a long relationship followed by 12+ months of a very active dating life, I've met an incredible girl I've fallen deeply in love with. More so than anyone I've met previously, she is perfect for me. We have an amazing connection - in and out of the sheets. Her personality is so sweet, loving and a little shy at first The only thing I'm having trouble dealing with is her promiscuous past. She's 25 (I'm 30) and has had sex with around 50-60 guys (300% more than me despite being younger). Seeing as she was faithful to a bf for 3 years which ended 6 months ago, all of these partners took place in high school and college. Almost all were just casual sex, either with her male friends (who she said she's slept with almost all of them) or one night stands. She's also have sex with 2 or 3 guys at once a few times.

Anyway, the news at first shocked me and made me very jealous and sad. However, I also have embarrassingly been very turned on by knowing she was so slutty. This confuses me very much and wondered if anyone could relate to these conflicting feeling and give advice on how to understand this. She has begrudgingly agreed to share with me the details of her past encounters which fascinates and turns me on as well. I have no doubt she'll be faithful to me and want to understand why her promiscuity both turns me on and embarrasses me???

View related questions: her past, jealous, one night stand, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011):

details may leave you feeling depressed , jealous, and start bothering you later. the less you know the better off you will be. don't dig too deep.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011):

Let me tell you something about shy girls. They don't go around sleeping with every man that comes along and most certainly don't participate in orgies. The fact you described her as shy makes me think she is just acting and messing with you. Be careful with this girl.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (17 October 2011):

Yos agony auntBe very careful. If you are still getting jealous feeling from this, then the more details she tells you the more jealous you will become. Generally it's best not to know these things. You should seriously consider stopping asking the questions, especially since your girlfriend is uncomfortable with it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011):

I can relate to this. I have been turned on by these thoughts of her past, though if she cheated it would still hurt me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011):

Maybe because you know she's been with so many men, and yet is choosing you. REALLY choosing you ?

Or her having been with other men means she's desirable in general and you've won the prize?

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