A
male
age
30-35,
*apabear
writes:Hey there I am 18 and my gf is pregnant. we love each other and are both going to college with the help of our parents. first let me say that our son is due soon. I have always had very strong feelings about circumcision and have been confident that i will never let my son be circumcised. yesterday however i found out from my gf who had no problems with not having him cut, that her mother and grandmother told her that they where going to have him cut behind our backs if necessary. they told my gf that i was being selfish because i had these beliefs. they are catholic and i had told my gf that i would be ok with him going to church and being baptized even though i am agnostic. I believe that the church can teach great morals as i was taught the same just not through the church. I get sick and feel weak whenever i think about my son having to get cut and i dont know what to do. my gf wont stand up to her mom who wont talk to me because she thinks her mom will not help us if she doesnt do exactly what she wants which i would not doubt. I dont think its her mothers right and do you really think its selfishthankspapabear
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male
reader, papabear +, writes (17 July 2010):
papabear is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for the feedback.
my father and her father are both out of the picture though her mothers boyfriend was appalled that we did not want it done so that may have caused part of this. I dont believe that just because it is the popular thing that it is right only 55 percent of males were circumcised last year so it isnt even that much of a minority that is uncut. I also agree with cerberus about the whole oh shit im god and i fucked up maybe if i tell them that its there to take off as a testament to me then they wont know i messed up, yea that'll work ;). after doing alot of research with my gf she has decided that she really is against it and we are going to talk to her mother. Have you ever seen a video of it its terrible. plus its excruciating to the infant and can cause psychological issues.
http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/
http://naturalpapa.com/circumcision/circumcision-will-you-make-the-cut/
Thanks for the great input. It makes me feel alot better about talking to her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): The medical benefits that anon is talking about don't exist.
Why the hell would we have one in the first place if it was harmful to us. What kind of messed up notion is that? Every guy is born with a piece of skin that protecting our phallus but wait! it's actually better to chop it off.
Back to the religious aspect a second, why would God put such a thing on our penis in the first place if it was better not to have it? Did s/he make a mistake? Did he on the seventh day look down at adam and go "oh crap, look at that little piece of skin I left on his penis, better get them to cut that little fecker off all their male kids"
Look if they really want to do this for religious reasons quote 'The Gospel of Thomas 53' which states that their God Jesus himself said that if God wanted boys circumcised they'd come out of the womb that way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Forget the religious aspect of circumcision: do your homework on the *medical* benefits of circumcision...it's actually a very good thing. (for men, vaginal cutting is not so beneficial for women)
Or your son can keep that little bit of extra skin because you want to make a statement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Let me just add, while other Aunts have told you that you can take legal action should they do it. It would be too late to anything about it then. You must gather all the info you can on your legal status in preventing this happening in the first place.
If they do this behind your back, then you're screwed because that will be the first action them having far too much say in how your baby is raised. You need to make it clear in no uncertain terms that you and your girlfriend will gladly welcome any advice and help they can give but that you're the parents and will raise it without interference from anyone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Tell them to f**k off. Not in those words but in that exact sentiment.
I'd advise you to go to their house and discuss this with them, outline that you have every respect for their beliefs and you will raise him Catholic if that is what your girlfriend wishes but that there is nothing in the Catholic religion about performing cosmetic surgery on your child when they're a baby.
Try to reason with them and make them see your point of view. As soon as this baby is born it is your duty and your honour to ensure you protect that baby from any kind of harm and you will do that from its very first day in this world until its last. 1 in 10 circumcisions result in deformation of the penis ranging from scarring to debilitating damage and loss of the penis is also a possibility, it has happened. You're not going to put your child in that kind of risk for a procedure which is completely and medically unnecessary.
If they still insist that they're going to have it done, then you will have to threaten legal action because you will not let them or anyone else harm your child. Go seek some free legal advice.
Look if they're the type of people that will refuse to help their own great/grandchild because of this then frankly I wouldn't want people like that imparting their 'moral values' on my child.
Make it clear to your girlfriend that this cannot happen, she may have a tough time saying no to them but this is her child not theirs, she cannot allow them to harm it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 July 2010):
What they are suggesting is illegal, and you can report them the the police if they do. Tell her mother that if she so much as touches your son, you'll report her to the police. They had no right at all to do what they're suggesting, and they will be jailed for it. Don't take any of her mother's crap. At all. What they are suggesting is illegal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): If anyone attempted what is in effect a surgical operation on your son without your permission or agreement, that would me an assault on your son.
In the UK, that would be counted as Actual Bodily Harm, and would carry a custodial sentence.
Warn your girlfriend's parents that you fuly intend to take them to court if they attempt to do this to your son.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): You have every right to make that decision. It's your child.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (16 July 2010):
 They have no right to make decisions about this. This is your child, not theirs. And if you and your girlfriend have decided not to have it done then they have to except that. However, being circumsized does have it's benefits. It's easier to keep the penis clean. It can prevent urinary tract infections - uncircumcised males are 10 times more likely to come down with a urinary track infection than circumcised males. It can lower the chances of HIV and other STD's, this is due to the fact that the foreskin causes an environment conducive to germs if germs are introduced. It can sometimes happen that if a male wasn't circumsized as a baby that he'll have to have it done as an adult due to inflammation of the foreskin. That only counts for about 4% of uncircumsized males... A circumcised male is virtually risk-free for penile cancer. However, for the uncircumcised male the chances of coming down with penile cancer are fewer than one in 100,000. Studies have also shown that women are at a greater risk of cervical cancer with an uncircumcised male partner.It's not selfish at all. It's up to the parents if they want their baby to be circumsized or not. And most uncircumsized males do go through life with no issues at all. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, congratulations on the baby.
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