A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok so i have tried to spice up my sex life with my gf however when i have asked her about certain things she gets annoyed with me. we have always had a lot of sex almost every day for over 3 years now. in the last year however she seems to be bored during sex and i feel like she only does it because she knows i have a high sex drive. i never pressure her into sex or even ask for it and more often than not its her initiating sex even if she acts like a rag doll during that sex. she never used to be like that, there was passion and fun and willingness to try new things. now for example when in the last she has used sex toys i suggested we go buy a new one together (left her last one in a hotel) she got angry about it. she also recently cheated on me which just reinforces the fact that she was bored. we were broke up for a month or so during which i had sex with other women and they all acted like i remember women acting. now back with my gf she still doesn't seem to be really into sex and i dont know how to spice it up or make it more interesting because she gets annoyed when i try!?!!?!i should point out she has huge self esteem issues an eating disorder and had recently been on anti depressants which killed her libido for a while but she has been off them since she we got back together months ago so i dont see how they could be effecting her anymore... HELP!!!!!!!!!!
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broke up, cheated on me, got back together, libido, self esteem, sex drive, sex life, sex toy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (31 March 2012):
 My advice is that you TALK to her. Figure out what SHE needs from you and tell her what YOU need from her.
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (31 March 2012):
Once someone cheats, it can change everything.
You have to ask yourself why she cheated - there was obviously something wrong in the relationship for that to happen (but like in many cases, people don't talk to each other about them).
Then you broke up and slept with other women, which I guess she knows about (I know you weren't cheating, but it can play of the mind knowing you've been with others in between - think of the self esteem issues she has).
I'm guessing you sleeping with other women during your break was more of rebound than wanting to - otherwise again there must've been something wrong for you to so easily do it just after breaking up.
Her libido may not come back that quickly, at all or maybe the actions of both of you during and after the relationship may have had a knock-on effect
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