A
male
age
51-59,
*arrisburg_Ron
writes:*OP's suggested title*About 6 months ago my girlfriend cheated on my with someone from her job. I found out by seeing the two of them together two days after we had a big argument. she denied it for about 6 weeks then finally admitted she slept with him. Then I found out she had been involved with him for over 6 months, kissing, texting, going out to dinner, going over to his house, yet she swears on her life she only had sex with him during a one weekend period. Over the course of the past several months when we would discuss it and I ask her why she says "I dont know why". She said she broke it off with him and told him to never call or text her again, yet I found out she continued to text him whenever he texted her. Then I setup a fake email posing as him and she responded and asked me out for dinner. When I confronted her with this she said "I only wanted to go out to dinner with him to tell him it was over". It has been 6 months and she swears up and down that it was only that weekend yet she still cannot tell me why she did it. Finally, she was a virgin (I was her first) but when she had sex with him she says it did not mean anything. As a man my ego is crushed. More devestating than that, my friend betrayed me. I cant get the image of the two of them out of my mind. She has lied constantly to me when I asked about details only to come clean later, she also says right now that it is me that she wants and that she has learned from her mistake. She is 25 and I am 43. We have had the greatest times together (walks, hand holding, talks, etc.) both before and after the incident, there has been a lot of tears on both parts and I have no doubt she loves me as do I her, it just feels like our relationship can never be the same.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 She didn't need to take the man to dinner just to tell him it's over. That could've simply been done in a text or an e-mail: Dear John, I've been thinking about my marriage and have decided that my husband should come first. I'm sorry we got involved, but it's over. Please don't contact me anymore." The End. Clearly she has feelings for this guy, it might just be the thrill of the fobidden. Maybe she was just curious about what it would be like (since you're the only one she's ever had). Your marriage will never be the same, or at least not for a very long time, and you will be checking on her all the time for an equally long time. I'm sorry but she did a dumb thing and the worst part is, there's no guarantee she won't do it again. She has yet to tell you the truth.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 July 2010):
She's cheated several times, lied to you about ending it, fallen into a trap you set, and claimed the sex isn't good. Trust me, this girl is the problem. Not you. There is no use in bothering with someone like this who will treat you badly. And she will. I have no patience with people like your girlfriend. She's a liar, a cheat and she will continue to be a liar and a cheat. You should end it and find a woman who will commit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): yea it will never be the same once a cheater always a cheater sorry
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 If I were you I'd kick her out of my life so fast her head would spin. She has no concept of telling the truth. You deserve someone better than this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): If she was involved with him for that long then there was more than just one weekend of sex. She is trying to minimize the situation and her guilt. I would end the relationship. You will never be able to trust her again and it just won't be worth it.
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