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Girl I don't want to go out with is messing with the girl I like!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2018)
A male United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hi, I think that I need some advice on a confusing matter.

I have a friend, who I've known for a few years now. I've fallen for her as, so far, she is the only person who I ever thought liked me, and I liked her back. Everything seemed to go smoothly, and until recently everything seemed to be in my favour: she was showing all of the signs, it looked as if she liked me.

However, about last year, I met someone else, who I have been friends with for a while now, but I don't really crush on her. However, she asked me out. I said no, and since then she tells me things about the girl that I do like.

Apparently she has been telling people that she knows that she doesn't like me, and that she shows less signs now. This information was given to me by the person who asked me out a couple of weeks before, and I'm starting to suspect something.

No matter how many times I ask her if she likes me, she says no, and she has a boyfriend, so I can see a reason to believe that she doesn't. Although, according to the information that I have been given, it seems like the girl that I do like doesn't like me either.

I'm confused. Could it be true? Or is it just two girls fighting over me?

Thanks in advance.

View related questions: crush, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (13 January 2018):

I think the girl you don't like is just reacting to the fact that you wouldn't go out with her, and she is jealous of the girl you do like. She wants to keep you two apart...if she can't have you, neither will the other girl. This all leads me to think that the girl you don't like has information that the girl you do like is actually interested in you.

You should have a conversation with the girl you do like. Tell her the situation with Girl 'B' and ask her if she's heard anything about this. Tell her your side of the story. This conversation will not only clear the air with the girl you do like, but may very well take you to the next level...having a relationship with her. Good luck! It sounds like you are actually in control here...now approach it as such.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2018):

Something you have to learn about some girls when they get jealous. They might spread rumors and gossip if you don't like them. She is trying to get your attention, and turn the other girl against you.

Yes, sometimes they might fight over you; but you make it worse when you don't stand-up for yourself by talking to the one that you really like.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2018):

When you're not sure if the girl you like likes you back; you have to talk to her. If she sees how nice you are and actually gets to know you; she can decide from what she knows, not by what she has been told.

I wouldn't cross the other girl; because she likes you, and she feels jealous. She will only make more trouble and it's best to ignore her.

You have to be brave enough to talk to the girls you like; before other people step-in and ruin your opportunity.

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A male reader, Allumeuse United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2018):

The best way to work out whether girls like you is to listen to the words that come out of their mouths. It's a relatively simple system. You are trying to get information from unreliable witnesses. Don't believe information from second hand sources, especially if they have an interest in the information they give.

I'm a bit confused by your post but if you haven't asked the girl you like if she likes you then do that. Then listen to what she says. If she does- crack on. If she doesn't- stop asking her and let her be. Simple.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntDon't INVOLVE a 3rd person into a crush or relationship. It will not end well.

If you think the girl you DO like is not so keen on you, talk to her. Ask her out, see what happens.

Girl #2 might not be INTO you, but she might be hurt that you rejected her, so she is creating drama. Or she simply think she is "helping" you...

Either way, Tell her to butt out and TALK to the girl you do like.

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