A
female
age
41-50,
*ecieved
writes:I have been married to my husband for three years now,when i first met him we would walk around and he would turn his head at any sexy girl,i thought this would pass,,,but since last september of 2007 he has gotten worse,on once occasion we went to the university student dental office to get his teeth fixed,we were with a friend and right in front of me he made a comment on this one student she heard,the friend heard and i was right in front of him,later when i was behind the supply desk she was there and he was right next to me,he was literally eating her with his eyes,i felt like i was nothing,ugly,embarrassed and so hurt and he just brushed it off.Things have gotten much worse,he's been surfing porn,i cuaght the history of what he surfed on christmas eve,it was a porn site,his main ones were bissexual,transsexual,schoolgirls;com,smalltits.com,,,you can imagine how i felt,since then he has surfed whenever he can and today when i downloaded pics from my parents i opened up the file in both our names and what popped up? a downloaded sex act,,,,i told him and showed him and he just didn't say anything,,i'm leaving this country on the 16th of january and i need advice,,,he has made me feel dirty,ashamed,embarrassed,,,,i don't even want sex with him because i know in his mind he's getting off on his fantasies,,,am i right or wrong?
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female
reader, LIERIN  +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Hm .. sometimes women are just not as much into sex as guys are and thats why guys go and jerk off over a porn .. I check out weird porn sites just for fun .. not to do anything, just to see a weird stuff .. so it doesnt mean that transexuals make him horney ... school girls and others .. hm .. why not Maybe you should do a lil show for him. Stop being so afraid and have fun when having sex. Maybe your husband is not happy with your sexual life. You should never feel ugly! You are perfect in your own way and thats why he married you;Offcourse he will turn his head after a 20 year old .. so what.. that 20 year old would send him to hell anyway, so why worry? Believe me .. guys r just a lil pigs and we should play that lil game with them, because if you are confident and strong enough .. you will WIN IT! ... and if you are not, and you will not make your man happy in ever way and you will put yourself down all the time ... than he will run after the 20 year old ones and you will be left alone!
A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (30 December 2008):
 He does'nt appeared to have changed his ways in three years then? I think to blatantly lust over other women in front of you is quite unacceptable to make matters worse he brushes it off as if it is nothing? Has he been looking at porn since you met him or is this something that you have just discovered? Many men look at porn and some will hide it from their partners for many reasons i always feel if the porn starts to interfere with the relationship then it has to be addressed now i don't know if your leaving the country for work reasons or anything else but i am assuming your not doing it for this reason? All things can be solved if we talk things over if he is making you feel all these things and i can fully understand why you feel like this i myself do not understand why men love porn so much but the fact is they do not to say it is acceptable in every relationship and it appears it is not acceptable in this one so if i were you i would be talking through all the issues you have raised here and discuss what you can both do to try and reach a compromise where it is not making you feel like you do.
This is a huge problem for a lot of women all over the country so you are not alone in how you feel about it equally there are many relationships that will tolerate porn it is always up to the individual/couple where this is acceptable or not. One thing i will say it is fantasy to them it is not real and therefore a lot of people think it is harmless i personally do not believe in that i feel if it is making a relationship so uncomfortable and making you feel you do not even want to have sex becasue of it then clearly it is a problem here for you, talk to him and see if you both can come to some understanding about this take care.
Gina
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): girl divorse him and get his money.leave the country .and tell he can have the compter in the settlemnt.and take rest find a new man,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): You say you are leaving the country? Is that with or without this 'husband' of yours? I hope its without. This man is being abusive and I'm sorry but do not let anyone persuade you otherwise. He blatantly humiliates you in front of other people and uses his time to look at some clearly quite seedy variations of porn even blocking / ignoring you when you confront him. You have suffered enough surely. I know how you feel. I caught my husband looking at porn on Xmas Day last year - he got me drunk on purpose (he's tried it since) so that I would fall asleep and he could get rid of me for a few hours. I did not recover from that humiliation and never will. I wish you every success in doing what you know you should and want to - get away from this abuse and find a man who wants to love you on Xmas eve. You can do it.
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