| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, I need some advice!So my ex boyfriend and I are on and off, I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, I got the impression he was losing interest and distancing himself from me, so I left him alone.He sent me a text on valentines day night saying "happy valentines day" I wrote back "thanks you too miss you haven't seen you". He wrote back that he's been busy and that was it. Why would he bother sending me a text if he wasn't interested or is losing interest? He knows how I feel about him, he expressed that he loved me also right before the 2 weeks he started calling less. I don't get it.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2014):
 He didn't say he missed you... you ASSUMED he missed you because he said "happy valentines day" for all you know he sent a mass text to all his girls...
NOTHING mixed about his message.. the MIXED part is your feelings... YOU KNOW it's over and you WANT more so you keep holding on to hope that his keeping his finger in the pie so he can keep other body parts in you is meaning more than that.
It's not.
Normally a breakup is an indication that the relationship is not a good one and should be relegated to memories.
Holding on to memories in hopes of making what's current work is a bad plan.
He KNOWS how YOU feel so he plays on that and works it to keep you on the line and get what he wants when he wants it.
It's NEVER going to be what YOU want... walk away now with your dignity intact.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2014): What's to get other than the fact you will never have a proper relationship with him and you're wasting your time trying?
Cindy is right, OP. Mixed messages = no messages.
Forget trying to read his mind and try reading your own for a change. What is it you want and can this guy give that to you?
It's pretty obvious that a relationship isn't going to happen don't you think? On/off is not a relationship.
So it's time to what is best for you and not waste anymore time on an ex who has nothing to offer you except for stupid platitudes. He's definitely not interested in you as he's made no attempt at a relationship, and just keeps reappearing every now and again to scratch and itch. Is that who you want to be to a guy? A back scratcher?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 February 2014):
 I just had a mystic "a-ha " moment. What if all the people who gets mixed messages would just decide " mixed messages aren't good enough for me " and rather than having to play mind reader , they decided to ONLY focus their interest and attention on people who show their capability to be consistent ?...
You would not stay in a workplace where you get paid some months, - but get nothing some others, randomly. You would not patronize a restaurant or beauty salon where you get attentive service some times- and get totally ignored other times , and kept waiting for hours with no apparent reason.
You might be fleetingly curious about why they act this way, curiosity is human, but at the end of the day , you'd decide that you don't get what you need and want from those establishments, and would turn your back on them.
Do the same with mixed messages senders, and life will be less complicated.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): "Why would he bother sending me a text if he wasn't interested or is losing interest?"
He's stringing you along by telling you what you want to hear so you'll remain available as Plan B when he can't get laid elsewhere.
"He knows how I feel about him, he expressed that he loved me also right before the 2 weeks he started calling less. I don't get it."
He's taking advantage of you by exploiting your feelings for him.
Don't believe what a guy SAYS, believe what he DOES (or doesn't do).
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2014):
 Here's the details that you need to know.....
When a guy has a spare girl.... who he pretty well knows will put out for him.... he is reluctant to put her off the team.... since... he may find himself needing her for a little sex, now and then.....
YOU are now that spare girl.... And, as long as you respond to him... and put out for him... he has all he wants... and you have "not much, at all."
Are you satisfied with that? If "yes," then there really is no question, is there? If "no," then isn't the only question: "Why would you want to be his spare girl?"
Good luck...
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