A
male
age
36-40,
*obby472
writes: Well I am a 23 year gay guy. I have never been with a women. I still suffer with self acceptence, im working on it. But I have wanted to try it with a girl, but never really pursue it. This afternoon my boss was talking with me (no one knows im gay at my work) and he told me that one of the front desk girls wants to go out with me. Now I would like to just to see what its like, maybe I might be Bi. But being a 23 year and never have done it with a girl, im kinda scared I wont be able to perform, or maybe not even get hard. Should I try and go out with her? or just leave it alone and not risk hurting her and our friendship? I have always been a people pleaser. I always put myself last, and help everyone out around me. In my heart, I know I should just tell her the truth. but my heart has brought me alot of pain in the past. should I listen to it? or try something different?
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male
reader, bobby472 +, writes (20 July 2009):
bobby472 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the answers. I do see why I shouldnt go out on a date with a female co worker. things could end up bad.
After thinking about it for a couple of days. I have decided to not ask her out.
As far back as I can remember. There has only been one girl that has ever cought my attention. But just more then other women.
Im still in denile about my sexuality. I grew up in the country, so I had no gay friends to talk to. Where I live now, I have yet to meet another gay guy.
I really need to move lol. But Thanks again for the answers. Its good to know that there are nice people out there.
A
male
reader, mytwocents  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 I agree with quiet-echo here.
Going on a single date (or even a couple of them) is a relatively harmless way to explore your sexuality and get some answers. I don’t think it would be cruel to this girl at all, since even if you were 100 percent straight, there would be no guarantee that things would go well just because you agreed to go out with her. I mean that's all a date is anyway--an attempt to determine if you're compatible with person. And even if you find that you aren’t interested in her in any romantic way, what’s wrong with a couple of young adults spending a few hours together out on the town?
A date doesn’t automatically equal sex. Like with everything else, there’s a natural build-up toward it. There’s a whole NON-physical build-up process and THEN a gradual physical build-up toward it. It’s not like you take your clothes off as soon as you pick up the girl! If you find yourself not feeling any natural curiosity and responsiveness as you enjoy your evening, you’ll have some answers. If you find that you’re getting interested and drawn to her, go with the flow and see where it goes. Maybe you are bi, after all.
How else are you going to find out?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): I disagree. You are gay. That means you're not attracted to women. People know what they are attracted to without "trying it out." The fact that you think you may not even get hard is because you know you are not attracted to women. Don't use this girl as your experiment as that is mean and uncaring towards her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): I think its best that you try it out, you may like, you may get hard for all you know she could end up being your wife.The point is at least test out a boy-girl relationship before you quit.If problems occur, you don't have to tell her you are gay unless you feel you need to.
Give her a chance, you may like her.
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