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FWB problems! Did he have feelings?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 June 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2014)
A female France age 30-35, *abbyinfrance writes:

So I don't know what to do anymore .

I have known this guy since i first moved up to this town where i am currently living , and we never got on at first. I met him at the bar i go to and he is the barman . A month after i moved up , we had had a one night stand , and we just blanked each other out for ages even when i went to go for a drink with some friends , a few months went by and we had another one night stand , again we just blanked each other out . And to be honest i had the impression he really didnt like me .

Another few months went by ,and i was walking to go to a friends house , and on the way i saw him alone in a bar , so i went up to him and started a conversation , he offered me to go back to his while we continued the conversation before he went back to work .

It was the first time we had ever really talked and we had a really good laugh , but ten mins before he had to go back to work , he said " thank god i am going to work " so i replied "why " , and he answered back " because i wanted to have sex with you" , so i said to him " well if you are not doing anything after work , take my number and give my a ring " .

So from that night we decided to be FWB ,and we saw each other 3 to 4 nights in the week , and everything was going great . But i have to admit i did start having feelings for him . So i stopped it the first time and he told me that he understood . But a few days later he came back asking me to go round his and i did , at this point he was going back out with his ex but he said it was an open relationship . So i continued and pushed my feelings aside. And in the end him and his ex broke up , but he still kept me as his fwb , and in the end it felt like he was making love to me and not fucking ( he started to kiss me , and he was sensual with me , he started to touch my body and he had never done that before ) even when we talked he had completely changed , he got jealous if i was with other boys etc , he had changed completely .and the last time i had sex with him , it really felt like he was making love to me . but then he blanked me out for a week. and it really hurt me , he started to flirt other girls infront of me and it really hurt me and made me jealous because he was cold and i hadn't heard anything from him when i normally do .

But then one night he sent me a message and because i was hurt , i decided to send him one back saying that i didnt want to have sex with him anymore , and he replied asking why , if he had did something wrong etc , but all i did was reply with just leave me alone .

So when i went to bar with some friends , he snobbed me , so i snobbed him back ...etc .

And the last month before i stopped having sex with him , i had lent him a phone because he didn't have one. So because i had stopped with him and didnt want anything to do with him , i asked if i could have my phone back and if he could leave at his work place and i would go pick up but when he wasnt working , and bascally he went off on one , saying i had gven it to him , and that he didn't understand me , he didn't like the way i was acting with him , he insulted me a few times and i said to him its not like you care , and he turned round and said about you , yes i do . And then he just continued going off on one , deleted me from facebook , asked me to never talk to him again and asked me not to go by to the bar when he was working , but he would leave the phone at the bar . So today i went to go pick it up and of course the phone wasn't there .

I don't know what to think or do anymore , did he have feelings for ? Did i hurt him ? did i hurt his ego ?

I really need your opinon and help .

ps : i tried to write a short version but with lots of details

View related questions: broke up, facebook, flirt, his ex, jealous, one night stand

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (13 June 2014):

sugarplum786 agony auntWell there is only one way to find out. Ask him out to coffee and tell him you want to talk. Worst case he says no and if he agrees , talk to him. Messages and just sex confuse and does not replace a good heart to heart chat.

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