A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A couple of months ago, I met a guy via online dating and I have not felt this excited about someone in such a long time. I have been single for 3 years. In the early stages, we mentioned about the idea of meeting up and seeing what happens. He lives under 2 hours away from me, but I am happy with that so if anything happened, I can maintain my independence.For the 6 weeks, it was texting each other everyday and lots of flirting. It has been obvious that there is chemistry and interest. But for the last couple of weeks, communication starting becoming less frequent. So I started to worry and asked him last week if we were still okay and he said that we were okay. Which I found reassuring, despite not talking as much. I have been very insecure in past relationships which is why I am prone to worrying. Basically, I wanted to ask if from the sounds of things is this still worth pursuing? I really like him. I'll also be visiting places close to where he lives for work purposes, should I call him up for a brief visit? Thank you (:
View related questions:
flirt, insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 May 2013):
 You met online a couple of months ago and live less than two hours apart and have not met yet? He’s not that into you honey.
I met my husband when we lived 2 hours apart. Once we started being serious we were together every spare second we had. 2 hours is nothing for adults.
If you are the one texting and starting things, it's time to stop and get a reality check when you don't' hear from him.
If you are going to be in his area, I would say "hey I'm going to be in your part of town for work on xx/xx/xx but I'm free after such and such a time, would you like to meet up for coffee or something?"
his response will tell you what to do.... excited... setting the date... good. "i'm not sure let me see if I'm free" or anything along those lines.... let it go....
A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (1 May 2013):
 It sounds like he's lost interest to be honest. He may have met someone else. I know how disappointing it is when you've been single for a long time and think you've met someone and then it doesn't work out, especially when you haven't even had the chance to get to know each other. In this case it's good that you haven't met. Once you make a decision to cut contact and move on, it will be easier to handle than if you had met and gone on dates and got to know each other properly. You will miss the idea of him initially, what you wanted him to be, but you will soon forget him. I'm not convinced by online dating. It can work. I know lots of people who have tried it with varying degrees of success, including one couple who have been together for 12 years now, but they were both ready for an exclusive relationship and decided early on that they wanted to give things a go and so they took down their profiles and started spending as much time together as they could. The problem with a lot of people is that they keep the profile active and keep chatting to others even if they're "seeing" someone, just in case something better comes along. It's tempting and easy. If you met another person online, try to met in real life early on so you can see what he is like and if you are compatible. That way you won't get attached to a fantasy and if you both like each other things hopefully won't just peter out.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2013): I think he is stringing you along. The reason he is not communicating as much is because hes not all that interested. Its been a couple of months and he hasnt even come see you? All excuses aside (he doesnt have a car, he works 7 days a week, hes handicapped), dont you think a guy who likes you wouldve found a way to see you by now? Look, this guy is not into it. And the part where you asked him if you two are "okay," realistically thats not his decision, its yours. So it was totally unnecessary for you to ask HIM what the terms are of this pseudo courtship. A guy who wont even come see you and texts you periodically...is that really someone you want to invest time into? Dont you want a guy who is eager to see you? Texts you everyday? Is totally into you? You are wasting your precious time.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (1 May 2013):
 Hi
2 months on and you haven't met up yet. Its not like your I another country,you could meet halfway. Seems odd.
In my experience of online dating if they aren't texting you as much then they're texting somebody else.
Online dating means just that,so he could be in contact with many women, which he can be, as you are just cyber mates.
Yes - suggest meeting up for coffee as your going to be up his way,see what happens,one of you has to initiate a face to face..
...............................
|
