A
female
age
30-35,
*piritDancer
writes:Hello, I'm writing this because I need opinions of people that aren't my family/friends.Basically I was in a relationship for around 8 years, from the age of 14 to around 22. It ended because my life got busier and he'd moved away a few years and it was getting harder and harder to keep it going and we split. That was a while ago and I haven't been in a relationship since ( i was focusing on my studies) Once I graduated last year I decided to dip my toe back into the dating scene and I dated a few guys. The last one I dated was in July it didn't last long. Now I've been at a new job for over a year and I guess you can say I've been flirting with my boss, nothing serious just something to pass the time of day, it's pretty boring job. He's been flirting right back so it hasn't been on sided. I'm not interested in my boss, it's harmless flirting because he's not really my type. Now there's this guy from a previous job who has been asking me out for 10 months. I ignore him, he goes away for a few months but comes back and is pretty persistent. Now, this guy is about 50% my type the problem I have with him is he's 20 and he's a typical 20 year old and I'm 6 years older than him. I assumed he only wanted sex and I called him out on it and he said 'Who said anything about only wanting sex? Just meet me and that'll be the start' I still think he just wants sex, the last time I spoke to him sex was all he wanted, I'm not the type to just sleep with anyone. Now, that's all well and good. I'm contemplating the 20 year old but not seriously because... He's 20. I've never been with someone younger than me. They've always been one or two years older or the same age. My main problem and the thing that's confusing me is the guy from July, I still can't stop thinking about him. I really liked him and he was exactly my type. He ended it because he wasn't over his ex girlfriend, they'd split up about 8 weeks before we started dating. I honestly can't stop thinking about this guy. It was short and I'm not usually the type to develop feelings, I'm usually quite a closed off person but there was something about this guy that broke through my walls quickly and I didn't really realize it until it was over and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Now I'm thinking do I go with the 20 year old to get over this other guy? Or do I just wait till I'm completely over the other guy and then move on? My family and friends aren't help. Friends say 'date the 20 year old' My family say 'date the 20 year old' and my mother says 'date the 20 year old, he could you be your destiny he hasn't given up' I think she was rids of me and is happy to hand me off to anyone.I know the 20 year old through an old job I used to have. We worked in the same office and during that time I got to hear a lot about his sex life because he liked to talk. He also liked to talk about his little black book. His immaturity is putting me off but he has been really persistent so now I'm not so sure.
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ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex, move on, my boss, sex life, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 October 2015):
 Eww little black book of his conquests? That would be a no go for me. One thing is a guy having one, another is him BRAGGING about it.
Don't use the 20 year old as a way to get over there other guy, firstly cause it's not nice and secondly don't do it cause you are JUST another notch in his bedpost.
Don't settle for a 50% (the 20 year old) when you know there are 100% guy out there (like the one you met in July)
And someone like the 20 year old? He has no respect for women THAT includes you. If you have told him already that you aren't interested and he KEEPS coming back hoping to wear you down? It's because NO doesn't matter to him. Not from a woman. He thinks if he is persistent he will get what he wants, and judging by how you are even considering it.... I guess his tactics works.
Nothing you have said about him in your post are things that recommend him. Not a thing.
I get why your friends think you should just go ahead and "entertain" yourself with a young stud, but seriously? Do you want to be just one of his latest conquests? When you aren't even all that interested in him? If they think he is so hot etc. let them have his number and make a fool of themselves.
Take your time. Get over July-guy and find someone who can give you WHAT you are looking for instead of settling for this rodeo clown who MIGHT entertain you a little while.
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