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Friend of 2 years gone but why???

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 September 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have been friends with this guy for nearly 2 years and we were like brother and sister ( best friends) then out of the blue he says he doesn't want to be friends anymore and for me to leave him alone!! He won't give me a reason and some of my friends think its coz the girl he likes don't like me hanging around with him but I have no idea!!! I don't think I can just drop our friendship without finding out a reason so what do I do????? Thanks all help needed!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2014):

Thank you I have tried talking to him but he either walks away or says I'm not telling you I don't know what to say that will make him listen and tell me why!?! If any of you have any advice on what I should say I would be really greatful!!!! Hopefully he will realise that he has lost a great friend who actually cares and want to be friends again if not then I will have to try and move on! Thanks all :-)

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A female reader, bellax United States +, writes (12 September 2014):

bellax agony auntyour friends right.

he clearly loves his gf and respects her wishes give them personal space

they need alone boundiers ;o

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (11 September 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt I think your friends may be right, at least it's a likely explanation. Girls your and his age can be very territorial and , at any age, some girlfriends do not buy the whole " best female friend " concept for their boyfriend because they think a gf should ALSO be the bf's best female friend.

This of course is just a possible explanation , there may be an half a dozen other, but, I don't see what you can do about it other than accepting the status quo and reaching closure unilaterally, from your side, with no further explanations. Considering that a best friend who unfriends overnight, out of the blue, no reasons offered...well, he was not that great of a friend to begin with, so you won't be missing much.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2014):

Thank you all for taking your time to answer I hope he will give me an explanation today at school but if not then I will have to let him do what he wants to do!! I don't think I'm going to waste any more time on him as 2 years has just been done for this! But I don't want to be his back up plan and for him to come running to me for advice if they do go out and break up and I would really have to consider if I take him back as a friend or not!! Thanks again

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think I understand that you want an explanation, but he chose not to give you ibe and told you, no contact - so I say respect that and accept that you lost a friend.

You CAN drop it and move on, if you really want to. It's calling respecting his wishes.

Now it can be the GF doesn't like the friendship, can be he has some conflicting non sibling emotions for you, can be someone claimed you said some crap about him/his.. No way to know.

I do think he will contact you at some point and try and be friends again. It does seems way too odd to drop a friend of 2 years with no explanation, but that is HIS choice.

Sorry, it sucks.

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A female reader, Behavioural Analysis United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2014):

Behavioural Analysis agony auntI went through this at 16 - it feels crap because you (probably) haven't done anything wrong at all. However, he's a boy (rather than a man) and that means he will most likely choose a girlfriend over nearly everyone - if she asks him to. That will be his reason, if you truly didn't annoy him or anything.

Unfortunately, young teenagers often choose their short-term boyfriends/girlfriends over their friends because they desperately want to be in a relationship, are excited about new ones and feel like they're missing out if they aren't in one.

It may pass, particularly if/when they break up. Should they break up and he comes crawling back and wants to be friends again, I (personally) would give him a second chance, if you were really like brother and sister, but I'd let him go for good if he ditched me completely again because a girlfriend said so. Friendship is great, but if your best friend (boy or girl) repeatedly chooses to ignore you since their boyfriend/girlfriend told them to, it's not worth it for you to keep getting hurt. You'd have to expect not to come first as much as their partner, but you don't deserve to be picked up and thrown away any time he feels like it to appease a girlfriend.

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