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Friend is now with a guy, but will he develop feelings for me again if I pursue our friendship?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Short question not really important but I'd like some opinions on it.

I have had this friend of mine for about 4 or so years now.

We met in middleschool and he always had a heart of gold, and when I got to Highschool he told me he had a crush on me and had done for some years.

I was flattered but he was the furthest away from what I liked in a guy so I simply declined his offer.

However we stayed friends and even though we only talk over facebook, as time went on I feel he got the wrong impression.

I believe he thought I liked him for some reason, all though are talk was nothing more than friendly, he continued to pursue me by buying me things and offering to do this and that, most the time I declined but he would randomly show up at my house with chocolates or games.

After a while I kinda got tired of it, and even though he was a briliant friend I felt like I was giving him false hope so I gradually stopped speaking to him as much.

Today however he revealed to me that he was Bi and going out with a guy, and I am really happy for him as this is his first partner, and as he kinda likes men now and is going out with someone I went straight back to having a laugh with him like I used to and don't mind talking to him.

However one worry I do have is that he might develop feelings for me again and it could get in the way of his relationship and I wouldn't want that. Opinions? Am I over thinking this or should I worry?

View related questions: crush, facebook

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (26 April 2014):

Atsweet1 agony auntWell if your not fwb or homie lover friends you shouldnt worry if he catches feelings for you he has someone he is involved with that he likes. He may.still crush and like you but he is into new dates new relationships. I understand your concern though cause you want him to have a person and not be stuck on you or you getting in the way. But you still want friendship also. Its people I know I cant be with there married Im involved.kinda getting to know people rathet dating around nothing serious and this time.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2014):

oldbag agony auntYour overthinking this, if he's with a guy then he is not interested in you - I would ask to meet his boyfriend and make a friend of him too, to show you 'are' a friend and support him. It can't be easy to 'come out' so they may appreciate this

Eventually you will be dating somebody and not worrying about this guy seeing you as more than a good mate.

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