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Friend and boyfriend problems... help!!!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, ok so my problems quite a big one and its got lots of different things in one, so please carry on reading thanks!

I'll start with me and my boyfriend. He means the world to me I love him to bits. The thing is I know I'm too young so please don't just keep reminding me of my age, but I really want to have sex with him, and he feels the same, but I'm not so sure it's actually I WANT to have sex or whether I just want to explore him and try out different positions and things.

Also I really want to tell my best friend my feelings and that we go out but I just can't, she won't understand because she hates my boyfriend and I asked her what she'd do if I went out with him and she said she'd hate me and would never talk to me again. My boyfriend acts a lot different at school though because no one knows we go out, we can't talk that much and things, but today he was looking upset and down so I went up to him and said "what's up?" and he gave me evils and walked off and I've seen him today but I haven't spoken to him since then. I always see him out of school and that's when we act like a couple, holding hands etc. He always tells me that at school he ignores me because he doesn't want any one to suspect anything, I text him after school today and no reply but I still can't help but worry. Is this normal?

Ok now the next bit of my problem; friends. My best friend has some problems at the moment but sometimes she acts like she owns the whole F****** world and it really p***** me off I just want to turn round and say to her some times "You aren't God's f****** gift!" but I don't because if I fall out with her I fall out with all my other friends because they were originally friends with her and they all follow her like sheep and I can't stand not having friends and feeling alone. I do lots of after school clubs but I don't have any proper friends in them who go to my school! She treats me like complete an utter s*** some times and I often come home crying, but every single time I take her back because I'm so desperate for friends. She uses her problems as excuses for everything. I just want some attention for once I mean my parents are splitting up, I have problems and all anyone has time for is my friend.

Please everyone I don't really need answers I just more need advice on how to deal with these things please.

xxx

View related questions: best friend, text

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A male reader, paulA1831 United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2009):

hi, First of all the reason why he is acting like this is maby because you have told someone about your relationship at school or somewhere else and he has found out. second of all u should carry on exploring with your boyfriend and finding out new things about each other but still don't have sex until your older, not just because of your age because i am only 14 and i would still never have sex until i am older. It can give you and you boyfriend terrible diseases and having babies what is a big thing to look after and took en away from you but still carry your relationship and then before u know it you will be able to have sex plus a lot of people want to have sex even me. Take care and I hope everything goes as plan.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

1. I know everyone one will probably tell you this, but you arent ready for sex, mentally or physically, trust me, it will not be good. Maybe you want to know a bit more about sex, and you do really need someone to talk openly about your feelings. It seems like you are bottling lots up.

2. Why does she hate your boyfriend so much? Its her problem, not yours. As for him, its not fair the way he is treating you, you deserve better. Its fine he shows his affections when you go out together, but why the secrecy in school? whats the big deal, when you are in love, you want to show it! Forget your mates, his mates and anyone else that tries to get in the way, who cares what they think? I suggest you talk to him about how you feel and if he doesnt listen, chuck him. Find someone better.

3. Your friend seems like a bit of a bi***. She has no right to go round treating you and everyone else like dirt, and if shes making you feel unhappy, shes not a true friend. Why dont you talk to the other girls in your group, they are probably feeling the same way about this girl. Then you could confront her together. If not, have a word with her on your own, about how unfair shes being. If she refuses to change, you MUST ditch her. You will become more and more of a pushover if you keep giving people chances. Its hard making true friends that care, believe me I've been there. Try getting closer to people, you belong to clubs which is great, there is bound to be people there that share your intrests. Ask them to meet up, you never know, if you make the effort, you could become best friends!

4. Believe in yourself. Don't let poeple walk all over you, and stay strong.

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