A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I found photos of my girlfriend on a porn sitebut I don't know what to do.If i tell her i found themshe'll know I look at porn...
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Clearly she's comfortable with porn if she's doing it herself! If I were you, the curiousity would kill me. I would definitely ask her - maybe she doesn't even know they're on the net!
I would try to be nice about it, even though you might be a little angry. These could be from the past from a difficult time when she needed the money. I know lots of girls with those kinds of skeletons in their closet. So try to be tactful about your approach. Or, it's possible that she really loves doing porn - and you enjoy looking at it, so that could end up a happy ending for everyone! Your sex life will boost like crazy.
Anyhow, I would ask her. Also, update us and let us know what happens!
xxIndia
A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (9 February 2007):
 So she'll know you look at porn. Big freaking deal. What's she doing on that site is the bigger question. "If we whack Iran, they'll know we've been spying on their nuclear programme" I dont see a problem with a confrontation. Just do it already
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A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (9 February 2007):
Well if you found her photos on a porn site, it would seem she's hardly averse to it herself, so she's unlikely to be shocked or upset to find out you were looknig at porn. Anyway, nearly all guys do it (and quite a few girls too), so it's no big deal and nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
On the other hand, she might be embarrassed about you finding her pics on such a site (then again she might not), so you might need to be a bit sensitive in bringing the subject up and discussing it. Of course, on a positive note, in bringing this subject up you might find an exciting side to her you didn't know existed (and vice versa) and that might give your sex life together a real boost!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (9 February 2007):
 Since almost all men look at porn at least occasionally, your girlfriend knowing that you look at porn is not a significant issue. It's not something to feel the need to hide, although as you can see from this site, it can become a problem if the porn replaces her, so watch out for that.
If you think you can just forget this and not have it effect you then maybe don't say anything. However I suspect that this is not possible: it's probably going to keep lingering in your mind. And if it does so, your girlfriend will know that something is wrong and want to know what's going on.
I suggest you bring it up. But do so in a very careful way, you don't want her to think you are being critical of her (she may be very defensive), as it could end up ruining your relationship. Until you know the story of what happened, it's not fair to come to any firm conclusions. And she's not going to tell you the truth unless she feels it is safe to do so. Handle with care.
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A
female
reader, flatpack84 +, writes (9 February 2007):
 Two things here - firstly, looking at porn isn't such a big/bad thing, although it does make some women feel uncomfortable. Secondly however, if your g/f is on one of these sites chances are she probably wouldn't have too much against your habits!
Remember, you both have a secret here. Tread carefully as she may be embarrassed as she has not told you about these pictures.
This is a tricky situation and one you may want to think deeply about before confronting her - think of possible reasons she may not have told you. Also, could there be any possibility these were not professional pictures and actually taken in a previous relationship, in which case I know I'd be mortified to find out they were on the net!
More thought may be needed before any confrontation or admittance. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): I think that it would be better to ask her about it rather than leave it and wonder why she's on there. After all it's better to be honest with her about looking at the porno site than keeping on asking yourself questions about why your girlfriend is on there.
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