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Found my bf giving my dad head!!!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 September 2006) 13 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2006)
A female United Kingdom, *hannon writes:

Please help me.

I have been with my bf for nearly 6 months now. On Saturday we was supposed to be going out for a meal and he was meeting me at my dads cos he works by his house.

I live with my dad and came in from work to find my bf giving head to my dad.

I ran out of the house crying and am now staying at a mates house, my bf and dad have texted me and phoned me loads, but i ignore them both.

What can I do?

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A female reader, Shannon United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2006):

Shannon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks everyone. i have been staying at my friends house but he has been away on holiday all week so all i done was think about them. i still have not spoke to my dad since i said i did not want to talk to him. he has texted me and is always saying sorry but as far as i am concerned he does not exist.

i am going to move into my mums at the weekend.

my friend says that my ex is always at my dads so it seems like they are a couple now. i just realise i am best out of it all. i was upset but now the 2 of them just make me sick. i wish them both the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006):

1st of honey people are so crazy these days they willl do anything to break your sprit so keep your head up you are on a shaky ride but make it seem like you not moving i,m having promblems my self but none compared to that . me and my boyfriend is arguning and he aint talking to me he ignores me i try to hug him he moves away from me his birthday is tommorow what should i do ? i wanna get him something but i,m afraid he wont take it ! i dont know i,m so confused/ dont let nuttin break you sprit talk to your dad try to work thingsout with your man ! i know its gonna be hard but honey you have to forgive them not for them but for you! it seems as if your going through a lot but you gonna be ok god bless you and may the best work out

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

For all those doubting Thomases out there, I believe her 100%. I knew this chick whose boyfriend SLEPT with her dad, so this isn't so way out.

My advice to Shannon is to keep in mind that boyfriends come and go, but your dad is always going to be your dad. I'm not defending what he did because it's indefensible, but spending your life feeling angry and betrayed and miserable will only hurt you more. I'd send to word to the cheaters that you need time away from the situation right now and demand your space. Later on, I send the BF to the curb. If he's having sex with other guys (even if it was your dad), he shouldn't be in a relationship with you, unless you're into bi boyfriends.

Get some counseling or do what you need todo to forgive your dad. Not for him, but for yourself. I'm not saying you have to send him Father's Day cards and hang with him, but you have to find some way to move past this.

Also, suggest to your dad that he get counseling, too, so that he can figure out why he would do something so cruel and hurtful to his own flesh and blood.

Good luck, babe!

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A female reader, keepitreal +, writes (13 September 2006):

That's crazy the 2 people you trusted the most betrayed you. You need to keep your head up. Forgive them because if you dont you'll just carrie that stress forever. Let your bf go hes not worth it.

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A female reader, SIMPLELIFE +, writes (13 September 2006):

this is a awful situation. i'm so sorry for you. sometimes

things come to light and at the time you are hurt, confused,

and ashamed of them but lets look at the bright side. they seem to both have issues and they are not with you. do not

move back to your dads he is a bad infulance for you. if your boyfriend is under 18 report him and your dad to the police for child abuse and let his mom know.

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A female reader, Shannon United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2006):

Shannon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks. i am staying with my friend at the moment. he has been my rock. i never liked my mums boyfriend mainly cos of i felt sorry for my dad. my mum left him when she met her boyfriend and i always blamed him for it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006):

That is unbelieveable betrayal. Moving out of your Dad's home and going to live with your Mum and her boyfriend sounds like a great idea. After the way your Dad has been you may not find your Mum's boyfriend so bad.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2006):

Wendyg agony auntFor those doubting this question, I can confirm that this is genuine.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2006):

Wendyg agony auntWell good luck, I think your better off without the two them if they can do that to you!

Take care x

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A female reader, Shannon United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2006):

Shannon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i wish i was jokin, i came in from work 5 10 minutes early cos my mate gave me a lift home instead of having to wait for my bus.

i knew my bf was bi curious anyway but never thought he would do this to me.

i have finished with my boyfriend and told my dad i dont want to talk to him anymore. i told my mum on the phone too, she is disgusted with him.

my mum has said that i can go and live with her instead and her boyfriend. i never liked him but i am sure he would not treat me like my own dad has.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2006):

Wendyg agony auntI am finding this a little hard to believe... I mean for one if they knew you were going out that night, would they really sit in wait for you to get home ???? Just waiting to get caught ? No I dont think they would! If they did then its downright stupid... Dump the boyfriend and ask your dad what the hell he thinks he was playing at!!!!

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (11 September 2006):

Ponungalungb agony auntNo he didn't. You're making this up aren't you? Come on, tell me this didn't happen. I just ate my breakfast and I'm feeling a little queasy.

If this is the truth, as Ricky Ricardo used to say, "Lucy, you've got some splainin' to do". Your bf and father both better do some "splainin'". That's just wrong.

Good luck.

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A male reader, jack23 +, writes (11 September 2006):

jack23 agony auntIts gotta be said this is rare and extreme!! You must be completely heart broken. But right now I think you are doing the best thing you can do.

This is going to be upsetting, that time will heal. It would not be held against you to never talk to either of them again, even tho this is your father. He obviously has priority issues, has he should never do anything like this to his daughter.

If you feel that you want to confront them, then I think you should, to get everything outta your system. But I dont think any kind of forgiveness will be possible until you have had time to recover.

Its going to be hard but the best thing is to keep your mind busy with hobbies and friends. For now you need to pick yourself up, after all you have done nothing wrong and so shouldnt be the one to suffer. There will be plenty of time to deal with this in your head, in your own way.

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