A
male
age
41-50,
*cott27
writes:I found dirty texts from another guy and responses from my wife in her phone. Now my question is should i just leave it be and is it okay for me to want her to be open with her phone and email and facebook and let me have access. Or is that over the top and a little to intrusive?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 I think it would be reasonable for you to ask for transparency in her electronic devices. I guess the real question for you is will that extra checking on your part fix the situation? I mean, why did she decide that dirty texting was okay, was a good idea, was something she wanted to do?
I'd say there's a lot more work ahead of you than simply looking through her texts or emails.
A
female
reader, love.lover.heartbreaker.brokenhearted. +, writes (12 July 2010):
 finding dirty text is something that will break trust, but trust can be earned back. it is completely reasonable to want access to her messages. But it is also very overbearing if you demand it. if she texts around you make conversation, ask what shes talking about and who shes talking to. ask if you can look at her messages and if she constantly says no then talk to her about how it makes you uncomfortable. But if you demand an "all access pass" it could very easily start to make the relationship worse. so just take it slow and and try to be more involved with her rather than just her messages.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 I suppose it really depends on your relationship. I'm pretty old school, so I'd think that dirty texts aren't consistent with our marriage vows. If you're asking the question, I'd have to think that your marriage isn't that traditional. My conception of marriage is that you don't have things going on that make you question her commitment, so you should know what's going on with her and social media.
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