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Former sex industry worker to mistress to my boss!

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2007)
A female age 41-50, *on't want to be the office slut writes:

I am a former employee of the sex industry trying to get my life back on track. I recently went back to a day job which I love. It had gotten around the office what my former occupation was. One of the boss's (not mine directly) started asking me out to lunch frequently. During our lunches he was very interested in what I used do. Needless to say we started having an affair. He's 20 years older than me and married with no children. His wife is very conservative and he has all of these fantasies that he would like us to try together like a threesome, etc. I have no problem in having an adventurous yet safe sex life, I just worry because I have only been at this new job for a little over a month. I know this was the wrong thing to do, but I am very attracted to him and we have a great time. I don't want to hear any how can I live with myself....I live with myself just fine. I'm the third person he's had an affair with. I know this is not a long term thing. I just want to hear anyone who's had a similar experience with thier boss whether it turned out good or bad.

View related questions: affair, mistress, my boss, sex life, threesome

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):

I got to say I dont think this *ever* works out for the mistress.

Has anyone on here ever heard of a case like this where it worked out for the other woman?

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (2 January 2007):

eddie agony auntShe didn't ask for help to do something good or moral. She asked for guidance to create a terrible situation for many people. She wants to commit the perfect crime. Why would anybody want to give supportive advice to a person intent on causing pain to others. In this case, she needs to hear the truth......she's doing something rotten, she knows it and her needs are not very important in the hierarchy of this picture.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):

it seems that everyone has missed what you said, that you dont wnat to hear ppl saying how can you live with yourslf, but im sure very few ppl can relate at all to the position your in, everyone in unique, you cant be told what to do, you can only be given advice, if you choose that advice is up to you. if all you need to do is talk, then find smeone you can talk to, if there is no one then try getting to know someone new, or a preiest lol im not religious.

just hang in there, eveyone has a problem and everyone can be judged, life is easier without judgement. atleast youve been admirable and asked for help, got it in the open, people who bottle things up and say there is nothing wrong are in denial, and can not help as much as someone who isnt in denial.

try to find someone to talk to, be happy, and as long as you dont regret it, and he dosnt regret it, then mabyits ment to be.

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A male reader, Learning2Love +, writes (1 January 2007):

Learning2Love agony auntFirstly, have you given yourself time to heal to deal with the choices of your past? You have just started piecing your life together, thats admirable, but you can't follow one good decision with a bad one that relates to life choices. You know that going out with a company boss is wrong because of all the implications (you could be called the slut, cos you were willing to do all these interesting things with him - remember men talk, especially about their sexploits - and he'll be some sort of narcistic hero). The fact that he's also married, means he's a no-go... He'll never leave his wife. I pity you because you're always going to be looking over your shoulder wondering if anyone knows, do you see why you have to deal with your past, accept the decisions you've made and forgive yourself and others. You are not going to have a healthy view of men either, because you will always think he's that type that will use a woman for sex - remember that in your mind although you were paid, that it is a poor substitute of what you gave. I love that part when the crowd wanted to stone the prostitute alive and Jesus said something like this 'he that has no sin, may he cast the first stone'. I hope I've helped you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006):

Well, you have heard from the men, now hear from a woman...I have never married and even I don't have respect for what you are doing with a married man...you have chosen to be a direct threat to his wife, his marriage, and perhaps his livlihood....granted the guy is a serial cheater and an idiot so he probably deserves you....

But let's talk about you and getting your life on track...by that at it's most basic level, you would like to earn a living by doing an honest days work like the rest of us grunts, but deep down you are hoping to be rescued by some guy who will take you off the hook for having to support yourself...well, you are barking up the wrong tree sleeping with a married guy, he won't leave his wife, and once she finds out about you, she may see that he has you fired like the last two or three he went with...

Then you will be back out on the street with your impressive resume trying to find that honest days work with an honestly poor reference....Maybe you might think about getting some more education so that you can learn how to make better choices for your life, or even consider some individual therapy to help you learn why you are so narcissistic and empty....

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2006):

maxsteel86 agony auntYou do things you know are wrong and feel no guilt about them? Reminds me of another group of people: psychopaths. But atleast they have a reason for doing what they do (people keep getting in ther way). What's yours? I'm not judging you there, just wondering why you do what you do. And you'd be hard pressed to find someone who had an affair with their married boss where things turned out so happy.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (31 December 2006):

eddie agony auntYou seem to live your life in the sketchy shadows of the fringes. You say, "I'm trying to get my life back on track" Really, what track would that be?

The experiences I've heard about from this web site lead me to believe that most people like yourself end up left out. They wreck a marriage, get pregnant, STD's and generally continue to make self centered, selfish morally bankrupt choices. Then, one day, they wake up and realize that they are living a nasty lifestyle.

You've already said you know you're doing something wrong and you live with yourself just fine. I really don't believe you and I think you're trying to fool yourself. If you hadn't thought the same thing, what made you come to the conclusion your life was "off track"

The fact you show/feel no remorse, leads me to believe you should scratch below the surface to find out what makes you tick.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006):

"Needless to say we started having an affair"

Shocking. Do you really live with yourself fine, or is it because you haven't realised that you feel your self worth is nothing more than being a sexual object to men?

Take a look in our "cheating" area on the website and you will see many hundreds of experiences from women who have an affair with their boss. I'm yet to read one that ended happilly ever after.

You say you're happy - but you admit what your doing is wrong. Interesting...

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