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Forced to accept being kept in the dark, how can I cope?

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Question - (22 May 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2012)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone!

My boyfriend and I have a fantastic relationship, with no problems at all. However, something has come up recently that I feel I need a little guidance in navigating.

Recently, my boyfriend has taken a job with an organization which will require him to keep everything about the nature of his job secret. I have some basic idea about what it might involve, and that it's nothing scary, but he has said that it might involve a lot of traveling. I'm not sure if I could deal with him flying around the world and me not being allowed to have any idea about where he's going, how long he'll be gone for etc.

I know that this will require me to be a very strong person, and we are so happy together that breaking up is absolutely not an option for either of us.

Is there anyone out there who is dating/has dated someone who had a similar work situation? How did it go? How do you cope with being in the dark? What can I expect?

I greatly appreciate any kind of response.

Thank you :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you, it means a lot to hear from someone who has been there.

I accept it, and there is obviously nothing he can do about it. Hopefully they will clear me as well in time. I'm not going to get too worried for the time being.

Thanks again!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 May 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt"how was work hon"

"it was fine, don't ask anything else i don't want to have to kill you"

just accept that work conversations will be ODD.

if his clearance is that high and you are a couple they will clear you as well.... but still he can't talk about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so very much for your response.

I've been thinking about it more, and I'm pretty sure it won't be so extreme that I'll have no idea where he is. There are numerous safety concerns with that, I think he's just trying to prepare me for the worst.

I guess in reality, my biggest fear is that I'll be forced to change the way I relate to him, since we've shared absolutely everything up until this point.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 May 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntMy first husband had clearance and I had no clue what he did for work other than it was computers in a particular location for a particular contractor for a particular government agency.

WHEN he traveled I knew WHERE he was going WHEN he left and when he came home... but NOT what he was doing while there....

it was not a problem for us...

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