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female
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anonymous
writes: hi just wonderd if you can help me as im so down an i feel very unatractive the reason is that ive been with my partner for five years an the last six months he has bearly even touched me we dont cuddle he wont kiss me ive asked what is wrong he says nothing is wrong some times he sleeps on the sofa or waits until im asleep befre he comes to bed what could be wrong with me for him to be doing this. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Well what really worked for me when I withdrew from the relationship due to stress and other related stuff, is that she would write a letter and place it in my laptop case or brief case. I would read about her thoughts, then when the time is right, I would tell her about my thoughts. Mind you, I don't withdraw often, and quite rarely.
The thing is, if he is unwilling to talk it out, then possibly there is an outside influence out of your control. He might also be avoiding you for various reasons. The key here is to get him to open up to you, and that you have to assure him you won't do anything silly and blow things out of proportion no matter how shocking they might be. A lot of guys I know keep things from their gf's/wives because of this reason.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Why would you ask if there is something wrong with you? Just because he doesn't come to you..doesn't mean you are unattractive. Why do women blame themselves when a relationship goes awry. That type of negative self-talk is what is making you feel so 'down' on yourself. It's plainly obvious..he has the problem, dear. He's not contributing to his share of keeping this relationship afloat. Why? Only he knows that. But I will take a guess at this. From the way you describe this guy, he has gotten uninterested and lazy, as well as rude, selfish and self-centered. So, why are you fretting over a man who has these type of blatant shortcomings? Set some boundries and tell him what you require from him to keep this relationship ongoing. If he doesn't want to then I think you should cut your losses and bail out. Go find someone who treats you like his queen. In the future, stop relying on your feelings to determine a loving life partner. Use your head and never allow anyone to make you feel the way this guy has.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): do you know what you should do. Do not make the first move ever men are also sensitive they take time to get over a phase but for 6 months that is very unusual. but i think that you should go on your own somewhere or do something to make him miss you then he will come to you. you know what they say absece makes the heart grow fonder. ALWAYS keep that in mind. if it doesn't work out don't talk to him about the relationship what ever happens happens for the best who knows he is maybe scare of you coz you are fragile
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