A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I am a bit worried because today for the first time i rejected my bf trying to have sex with me, I felt weird with the way he tried to start sex cause all he did was walk out of the room and come back in naked i told him i felt a bit uncomfortable cause it was very hot in the bedroom and I can't really have sex unless cool air is blowing through the room so then we lay on the floor and he tried to kiss me and I still felt weird his face was un-shaven and he was still sweaty and I just could not be turned on by any means. He touched my breast and I felt even more turned off. Is it normal for a women to go through a moment like this were you just can't be turned on at all. My biggest feeling that I felt was no passion and even though I had wanted sex for the past week and he did not come on to my advances, all the sudden he is just naked and I felt all the passion of trying to start sex was not there. Am I being to picky or is this normal? I feel terrible cause my body had no control I just felt nothing. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): You are absolutely right in what you think and feel.
Your boyfriend's approach was crude and insensitive. If he doesn't even bother to bathe or shave before approaching you that is extremely disrespectful. You BOTH have the right to refuse sex.
It is your body and only you have the right to say when, and with whom, you will make love.
You shouldn't feel bad in any way for refusing his "approach". If he wants to make love to you he first has to realize that he does not have the right to expect sex from you whenever he wants. Make him work for the right to make love to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): It's as normal as knowing you need to eat something, yet not feeling hungry or being offered your favourite flavour ice-cream but not taking it because you're in the mood for something savoury.
Can't always be in the mood OP just as he wasn't in the mood for the past week.
No big deal and certainly not a reason to feel bad.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 March 2012):
 You really feel "terrible" that you said no to sex? You are not a sex toy, you are a human being who doesn't always feel horny (just like every other human on the planet). So from your question it sounds like you've been trying to sleep with your boyfriend all week, and he said no, but as soon as you wanted to say no, you feel terrible? You are BOTH always entitled to say no to sex. It's silly to think you'll both always be up for it or that either of you should feel bad for it.
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