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For 3 months he was the most considerate guy ever. Then he just disappeared and won't return my calls!

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Question - (30 June 2005) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

For three blissful months I have been really happy with my new boyfriend. He seemed to be absolutely perfect- he texts me several times a day, rang me often, gave me lifts to and from work. We saw each other most days and he was always saying he wanted a future with me. I introduced him to all my family and friends and I thought we could have a really good future together. It seemed that he simply couldn't do enough for me. He put my feelings first over everything.

About a week ago, we were due to go out and he never turned up. I called his mobile and got no reply. Throughout the night I got increasingly worried as it was out of character. The following morning after I'd rung everywhere I could think of, he called.

He'd been in hospital all night supporting a member of his family. I accepted this but was angry he hadn't let me know he was OK.

Since then, we have only spoken a couple of times. Each time we spoke he assured me things were back to normal. He made a date to meet me and then never turned up. Again, I couldn't contact him on the phone.

He seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet and I'm going crazy wondering what is happening. This is nothing like the man I started dating. I understand he may have family commitments, but why can he not even answer my phone calls?

What can I do? He won't meet me or answer my calls. I can't live my life properly because I'm worrying about where he might be. I can hardly eat. I need to know where I stand with him, but how can I do this when he won't even see me?

Any advice would be most helpful. :-(

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (7 July 2005):

Glad your problem was sorted out, Ive had boyfriends like this before, god knows why they do it but youve had a lucky escape. Good luck in the future!!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2005):

Hi Becky,

You were right at the beginning. He's continued to ignore my phone calls, and I've just found out that he lied about the family "problem" by speaking to his mum. She doesn't trust a word he says either, as he has lied to everyone.

It's definitely over. It hurts, but I had a lucky escape, really. If his own mother won't trust him, what chance is there for us?

Thanks for all your advice! x

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (3 July 2005):

Glad things have worked out well, he sounds like a nice guy, maybe just a bit thoughtless. Stick in there!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2005):

Hello,

Thanks for taking time to read my problem and the advice you've given.

I called him on Friday and he was absolutely fine with me, but has had no money to put credit on his phone. He's very proud (and stupid) and won't borrow from anybody. He has also started new job driving all over UK, so wasn't able to answer. He thanked me for my patience and was looking forward to seeing me again.

His mum rang me as she was concerned he wasn't answering her text messages, and said that when she last saw him (about a week ago) he was talking about settling down with me and how much he was looking forward to our date.

So I've decided to give him the benefit of the doubt for a bit longer, will let you know if it works out!

Men!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2005):

As hard as this may be, give him some space. He may just need some time to think, or he maybe just ending the relationship. Either way, it is out of your control. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If it was meant to be it will. Good Luck.

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (30 June 2005):

Was he really in hospital supporting a family member? Or was this just an excuse to break your date? Sounds to me like this man doesnt want a relationship and hes not got the guts to tell you, so he's hoping you'll just 'disappear'. Forget about him and find someone better. The bad ones always start out nice at first.

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