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Five years together, a house and a puppy... but no engagement yet!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 May 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years this coming weekend. We have a house together and are in process of purchasing a puppy. BUT, he hasn't popped the question yet. He says it will come in due time, but I'm getting sick of waiting. I kind of feel like he might be stringing me along, but I really don't know. He says he wants to make sure he gets it right because his parents are divorced, and he doesn't ever want to get divorced. I've waited and waited, yet no proposal. I'm really torn. We have a house so that's a commitment, but it's not good enough for me. Is there anyone else in my shoes? Or has been in my shoes?

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A reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (19 May 2005):

STOP BEING A SELFISH BITCH!!!

Ok, sorry to be harsh and an offense to the female canine population out there, but why should he?

Why do you think living with a bloke for 5 years he should propose to you?

He will do it when it feels right, perhaps he is saving up for a holiday or something and going to ask you then? Maybe even saving up for a ring??

If you love him loads...propose to him, there is no reason why you should expect him to do it because he is a male, this is the 21st Century!!!

The longer you leave it, he might go off you..

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (19 May 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntDo you think he is the right one for you? Is it absolutely essential that you marry? Say for example you don't get married, would you consider leaving him to find someone else to marry? These are all the questions you should ask yourself.

Okay, so you want to get married but for it to work, both parties have to be in agreement that they want to take the big step for all the right reasons. He is being cautious and he is really entitled to be. Do you consider his cautiousness as an indication that he isn't fully committed to you? If that is the case, then you need to say this to him.

He doesn't want it to end in divorce. I'm sure you would prefer him to marry you without any doubts about the future then just marry you because you want it to happen.

If you really value this guy and want him to stay in your life, then perhaps you ought to cut him some slack.

Discuss with him what he wants for the future. Does he envisage you both staying together married or not? Try to glean from what he says as to whether he is stringing you along.

Then just relax and let what happens, happen. If it is meant to be then you will marry in the end.

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