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First time sex hurt so much we could not go through with it and now I am afraid to try again. How can we overcome this?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *yla writes:

So i recently tried to have sex for the first time, and it didn't work out at all. I was ready and willing, my boyfriend and i were foreplayin like for hours, and actually i wasnt nervous at all, the problem was that my vaginal opening was too small to allow my boyfriend to penetrate. we tried several times with different positions, including me on the top, I found it so painful that we had to stop. My boyfriend was fabulous, taking things slow and not pushing me at all, but I have felt so discouraged and depressed that we couldn't do it. I don't really understand quite what is going on and what to do about it. I have never heard about this problem before, i thought this only happened to nervous girls... i would really appreciate some advice. I'm especially afraid about how much it will hurt to try again. I've talked about this with my boyfriend, and while 'taking it slow' is nice, I'm not sure it is going to solve anything. What can we do?

View related questions: depressed, foreplay, vagina

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A female reader, lyla United States +, writes (13 March 2010):

lyla is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you very much for your answers girls, i'm glad to know that im not the only one who had this problem... it's just i was so worried, i thought maybe there was sth weird with me... we're going to try again with lubricant and hoefully that will do it :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010):

Sweetheart you are not the only one, so dont worry about.

First I am going to tell you about my experience, it took me more than 10 day trying almost every night to loose my virginity. I felt the same way and every day that passed by, it just got worst, because I thought so much about like what is wrong with me, why cant I do this.

My boyfriend and I would do the samething forplayin, but the moment he would try again I would be all dry in like 5 seconds, it was the wierdest thing ever.

So my answer to you is buy some lubricant cream, because it will make things a lot easier. That is what actually helped me, and I used it a couple of times after, since I still had a little pain.

Now you know, you are not the only one, so dont worry so much about it.

You´ll be fine.

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2010):

kayla20 agony auntmaybe try some lubrication next time might make it a little easier.what you are going through is perfectly normal sex for the first time is very painful and does take some time before being able to get it right in.when i lost my virginity it took ages and eventually my boyfriend at the time just applied some force and then i heard a pop and it was in it did feel really uncomfortable and painful but after it was over each time we had sex it got a little easier and then i was able to enjoy it.id say keep with the foreplay but lubrication will help

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