A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Cupids,I am a 22 year old and my girlfriend is 21 year old. I need some honest opinion about sex. I live in a more conservative country, Singapore, where we are told to have sex after marriage. Recently, my girlfriend and I have moved on from platonic relationship to more intimate one. We started to talk about sex more frequent than usual. Both of us are exploring each other bodies as we tried to kiss and touch each other. Now, we have reached a stage where we both are willing to have sex, however afraid of the uncertainties and consequences. May you answer these questions for me?1. I read online and found out that condoms will still have risks of getting her pregnant. What can I do to prevent pregnacy? My girlfriend and I promised only to have sex if I don't get her pregnant.2. Is there a age limit to buy condoms? I never buy one before, and I am a little embarrass to buy. What can I do?3. My girlfriend always have late period. When are her safe days? I have no absolute idea, before or after her period?4. Is it very painful for the first time for girls? We are both first timer, and she told me first time is always painful.5. How is sex going to affect our relationship in the future? I know we are both willing but if it is going to compromise our relationship, I would rather wait.6. Should we do it now? As mentioned, sex before marriage is not accepted in my country. I am afraid that her parents will find out, and she will be in trouble.I really want to be a responsible guy for my girlfriend. She has been there for me high and low, throughout my 2yrs army life and my father death after a car accident. She is very important to me, I cant afford to lose her.
View related questions:
condom, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (17 October 2015):
 1) not having sex prevents pregnancy. But if you plan on having sex, what has worked for my wife and me, and it still works like a charm, is pull out. Some people say it does not work, but maybe for them, so as for me it's the best
2. Idk what are condom laws in Singapore but like you I am little embarrassed at starting at them plus I hate the sex with a condom on.
3. Use this site for period calculation and it will also tell you when she is most fertile (so you abstain from sex) and when she is not fertile (to have sex): http://mymonthlycycles.com
4. Idk about girls but as for a guy side, be sure she is lubricated well and moist because you don't want your skin on penis ripped and make sure you know your thrusting so you don't break your penis
5. If you don't aim to marry this girl then don't have sex with her. It's pointless, at least from my perspective, to have sex with someone if your aim is to obtain something from her that otherwise you would get from a prostitute. However, if both of you aim at marriage then it creates a deeper bond.
6. Should we do it now? This question should be answered by you and her and whatever you answer it would be correct for two of you. I would just keep in mind my point in number 5
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): Okay...Pull out method -- pretty good, but requires a huge amount of effort and it is not perticularly easy. Plus you have to be eary of precum... mostly thia won't be too much of an issue unless you have ejaculated very recently.Condoms -- this is the esiest and one of the two most effective methods of contraception. It is also pretty much the best at preventing STDs. They have the advantage of being cheap and easy to buy. And no... there is no age limit to buy them.The pill -- This effective at a similar rate to condoms. The downside is there are sometimes side effects for the woman taking them as they are essentially messing with a woman's hormone production. It also requires the woman to take it the same time EVERY day without fail. Miss one and the chances of pregnancy go up again.There are many other methods and they all have various rates of effectiveness. I suggest to go to a parental planning clinic or a GP and have a chat. You really should have been taught the basics of this at school.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 October 2015):
 It is very good that you are being responsible about your mutual decision to consider first time sex.
You can buy condoms online in Singapore - google it and you can find a Singapore based supplier.
Condoms are useful to prevent transmission of sexually transmitted diseases but if they fall off or if they are incorrectly applied then a girl can still get pregnant.
There is a better way to prevent a pregnancy as I shall explain below.
The only reliable form of contraception to prevent pregnancy is the contraceptive pill.
It is 99.9% effective if taken every day. Here is a video to explain how it works:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/birth-control-pill (It is a USA based video)
but the information on the video about using a contraceptive pill is accurate wherever the lady takes the contraceptive pill in the world.
However here are some facts you can check out regarding the use of the Contraception here – and there is a hotline too at 1800 774 5935 in Singapore.
http://www.aware.org.sg/contraception-sti-testing/
Sounds like there are lot of myths surrounding contraception use in Singapore.
Forget about the pull-out method – your lady is likely to get pregnant
Forget about spermicide as again there is a high change your lady will likely get pregnant.
Yes it is likely to change how you relate to each other and your obvious familiarity and the closer intimacy between the two of you is likely to be noticed by those who know you well.
Sex the first time is not painful for all ladies. Some find it more difficult than others and virgin or not you can cause any lady pain if you skimp on the foreplay. Pay a lot of attention to foreplay before you even consider consummating the relationship and it should be easier and more satisfying for her and for you.
I have a lot of lovely friends who managed to get pregnant while trying to use the rhythm method – now called the Fertility Awareness Method of contraception.
If your girlfriend has an irregular cycle and is often late then you are going to find this method more difficult. My thoughts are that a method advocated by a group of celibate male priests who are childless is risky at best. Below it is explained:
http://www.healthline.com/health/birth-control-rhythm-method
Sounds like this is a good opportunity for you and your girlfriend to learn a lot more about contraception and the various methods and the risks before you make the next move towards have full sexual relations.
Your responsible attitude is applauded.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): "What can I do to prevent pregnancy?"
Don't have sex. Condoms can break, leak, or not be applied properly.
Abstinence is the only method of birth control that's 100% effective.
"Should we do it now?"
Not if you don't want a pregnancy, not if you're afraid of the uncertainties, not if you're afraid her parents will find out, and not if you have to ask "Should we do it now?".
Much more likely you will regret having sex too early than you will regret waiting until the time is right for both of you, and you will know when the time is right.
...............................
|
